I’ve been wanting to write this for awhile now, but I keep hesitating. Even though I have fully embraced my bisexuality, I still don’t feel comfortable saying it out loud.
Why? Because I grew up in a conservative Christian household.
Because I grew up in a Christian household, I know that identifying as anything but heterosexual while remaining strong in your Christian faith is a huge contraindication. In fact, I now understand why a lot of people hide their sexuality from their family and church friends. Nobody wants judgements placed on them for living their truth — it’s humiliating and frustrating.
For this reason, I feel too scared to tell my family because they will just ask lots of intrusive questions and claim they don’t understand.
Sure, the friends I told shared their support or at least said they wouldn’t hold my bisexual identity against me, but I already know it won’t go over the same way with my family. Although they claim they all live a truly “religious” life, they do not accept people as they are. Instead, they pick and choose which flaws to overlook and which to hold against others.
But it shouldn’t matter if I committed a crime at age sixteen or admit I want to date both guys and girls — one isn’t better or worse than the other.
During high school, I met so many people who identified differently and it didn’t change how I treated them. If they respected me, then I respected them. Simple as that. So why can’t we do that in today’s world as adults? Why is it that kids have the capacity to accept people without question but adults pass judgements and tell people their feelings are “wrong?”
If someone were to tell me this is just a phase of wanting to experiment or date girls, I would just shake my head. I may have felt that way a few years ago, but now I know I do not just identify as heterosexual. I am a bisexual female who is proud of who she is, even if I haven’t told everyone in my life yet. If you can’t accept me, then I don’t hold it against you. However, I do ask that you look at yourself before you decide to not respect me anymore. If you’ve known me my whole life and decide you can no longer remain in my life now, then good riddance. You were the problem all along, and no one needs that kind of toxicity in their life.
As everyone says, it’s the 21st century. This means it’s finally the appropriate time for people to speak their truth to the world. So many changes occurred over recent decades, and these changes paved the way for us to find our voices. When someone shares part of their identity with us, we should examine their heart. As someone who still identifies as a “religious” person, it’s time that we continue to love those we hold dear and accept them for who they are. After all, we are all different and bring many qualities into our lives and others.
Feature Image by Abo Ngalonkulu on Unsplash
