At some point, you’ve probably wondered, “Is this relationship working anymore?” Maybe your relationship felt a little rocky, or maybe there are more obvious signs your relationship is over.
Maybe the sex has been on a extended hiatus — like longer than the amount of time between Game of Thrones seasons. Perhaps you and your partner find yourselves sitting in two separate rooms at the end of the day. Or maybe you’ve just been hanging in there waiting for something to happen in your relationship that just isn’t happening (like a proposal!).
So, how do you know when to break up and end your relationship for good?
These are five clear signs that your relationship is over and it’s time to break up.
1. You can’t agree on big issues.
You want one thing and your partner wants another, and no matter how many times you’ve discussed it, nobody’s budging.
Sometimes two people just aren’t on the same page with what they want.
This is an all-too-common scenario with couples. One person might want to have kids, but the other person doesn’t. One wants to date other people, but the other wants to be exclusive.
If you want to give the relationship some time in the hopes that your partner might eventually meet you where you are, have a go at it. But you also need to honor yourself by having a timeline for yourself. If your partner and you can’t both get to the same place after a lot of negotiating, it’s time to walk away.
2. You’d don’t want to be intimate anymore.
Seeing your sex life slow down because you’ve been together a long time is one thing. When your partner no longer turns you on, though, not having sex is another thing entirely. If this is the case, you probably have a problem.
It’s normal for every couple’s sex life to ebb and flow, but if you and your partner always argue about the lack of sex in your lives or don’t discuss at all, it may be a red flag. Ask yourself whether you’re willing to be in a relationship without any physical intimacy.
Sex often makes a relationship different than a friendship. If you’re no longer having sex and no longer want to have sex with your partner, it may be time to transition your relationship to just that: a friendship.
3. There’s no trust
The foundation of every solid, lasting relationship is trust. Without it, the relationship is going to eventually fall apart. Nobody wants to worry every time their partner walks out the door, doesn’t immediately respond to a text, or gets together with a friend of the opposite sex.
If you’re the one with the trust issues and your partner hasn’t done anything to warrant a lack of trust, you need to work on yourself before you can be in any relationship.
Trust issues often stem from betrayal in a past relationship. If this is the case, going to therapy or working with a good relationship coach is often a great first step towards healing your trust issues so you can be in a healthy, lasting relationship.
Moreover, if your partner has done something that’s broken your trust and you’ve tried working through it but still can’t truly trust them again, it may be time to walk away. If you can’t feel safe inside your own relationship, it’s time to let it go.
4. You and your partner bring out the worst in each other.
Once upon a time, you two lovebirds made a great team. You were nice to strangers on the street because your partner was. You became a better son and started calling your mom every Sunday just to see how she was doing. And you stopped to pet small animals on the side of the road because doesn’t everyone deserve to feel loved just like you do?
Yes, love can bring out the best in you, and when it does, you’ll want to stay.
But when you both find yourself yelling at your partner during every conversation, it’s a bad sign. Are you miserable to be around because your partner constantly annoys you? Do you find yourself constantly sad instead of feeling like your usual happy-go-lucky self? If so, it’s time to get out.
5. You’ve lost yourself.
If you used to enjoy your favorite hobbies with friends but now only do things with your partner, you may have lost yourself in your relationship — and that’s not healthy. There’s nothing wrong with merging lives with someone you love, but this should involve bringing together the best of both of you — not abandoning everything about yourself to fit into your partner’s world.
If you find that this has happened, it might be good to take some space from the relationship and put some time, energy, and focus into yourself for awhile.
The healthiest relationships are the ones where we feel safe, secure, intimate, and in alignment with each other. If you’re experiencing any of these five things, it may be a sign your relationship is over and it’s time to break up. Sometimes — as difficult as it is — you need to let go of your relationship to make space for something even greater.
Originally written by Dina Strada on YourTango.
Featured Photo by Amanda Sixsmith on Unsplash.
