Friends can be the family you choose, but hopefully you are choosing the ones that are good for you. Sometimes our friends go through some phases and need our support. And other times, friends are there for you when you need the same.
But if they are displaying these six red flags over and over, you may want to rethink who you’re spending your time with:
1. They Control Events And Don’t Consider Your Preferences
When you two make plans and they constantly choose activities that you expressly don’t want to do, this may be a red flag. Try switching up your normal plans and see if they let you take the reins a little.
2. They Preach Good Vibes Only
It’s natural to try and hide your stress or your feelings from those around you, but when your friend dismisses anyone’s feelings because they don’t fit “the vibe,” this may be a red flag. Bad weather or having a bad day for everyone can be good reasons to want to hang out, and it’s good to look for the positive side to anything that goes wrong. But taking it to the extreme in an uncanny way definitely does not fit the vibe.
3. They Only Want To Hang When They Are Single
When your friend starts dating someone new, it’s normal for you to see them a bit less as they learn more about their new love. But for them to stop hanging out with you completely every time they’re dating someone new can be a red flag.
It may feel like they only need you when they’re single, and nobody wants to feel like that. Make sure you’re not doing the same, and see if they can bring their new boo out with you guys.
4. They Only Talk About Their Own Life
When you talk about your day, it’s normal to ask how the other person’s day is going. But if they turn every topic toward themselves, this may be a red flag. It’s natural to show you understand how someone is feeling by sharing a similar story to theirs, but there are people that take this to the extreme in every conversation. Don’t let someone discount you every time you speak.
5. They Only Call When They Need Something
As friendships grow into adulthood, it’s normal if each of you grows busier by the day. However, if your friends are only calling when they need something and never say hi, share news, check in, or wish well on a holiday, this may be a red flag.
It’s easy to write off someone missing a birthday or letting time get away from them once, maybe twice if there’s something major going on. But if they stop making an effort altogether, you may need to think about your connections.
6. They Are Highly Competitive And Dismisses Your Achievements
Friends are meant to lift each other up and high five each other when one or both achieve something great. But if you reach out to share good news, and every time your friend tries to outdo you, this may be a red flag. A little competition can be healthy and help you and your friend stay motivated, but this can get toxic when it goes too far.
Friends are meant to vibe with you, support you, and feel emotions with you. If they’re not reciprocating or it doesn’t seem like they really care anymore (if they ever did), it’s okay to back away. Focus on the friends that are there for you and have the best intentions with and for you. Have you ever noticed these red flags?
Featured image via Unsplash
