So often we fear growing old, or think of it as a time when life’s possibilities will close. But an article in the New York Times reminds us that old age can be a time of discovery, joy, and true love.
All too often, we imagine that life seems to end at the nursing home door — that it is loveless and lonely, with death hovering closeby. We make this mistake when we refuse to see the needs for intimacy even in the most debilitated elderly.
Our youth-centered culture equates love with sex; in contrast, I have seen with my older patients that love can be an endlessly blossoming flower, felt and expressed in hundreds of ways. A friend’s mother who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease has fallen in love with another resident on her floor, and they walk around holding hands and snuggling with a newfound innocence that perhaps only their memory loss restored.
Inspired by the piece, here’s why growing old together is something to look forward to.
1. Retirement travel
You finally get to spend all that money in your 401k. And you can do whatever you want, including traveling with your spouse to all those places you dreamed about when you were juggling two kids and two careers.
2. Meeting someone new
We’ve heard tons of stories of elderly folks meeting new people. Love really doesn’t have an age limit. You could even rekindle a romance from 50 years ago!
3. Summer camp crushes
There is nothing more fun than sleepaway camp romance, and a good nursing home is kind of like an extended summer camp stay.
According to one woman, “Unlike the friendships [one] makes as an adult, slowly nurtured over dinners and drinks, bonds in a nursing home, where there is nothing to do but talk, are forged quickly and deeply.”
4. Knowing what you want in bed
By the time you hit 70, you probably know what you like in bed, and you’re comfortable enough with yourself that you’re not afraid to ask for it.
5. Getting beyond the vanity of youth
Speaking of being comfortable with yourself, as women, we tend to worry so much about aging and losing our looks. But hopefully, by the time you reach old age you’ve reached some kind of peace with your imperfect body.
It’s not a given, but we’d like to think that the wisdom of age includes self-acceptance.
Originally written by Sarah Harrison on YourTango
Feature Image by FORMAT arw on Unsplash
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