Most people have a desire to be in a loving relationship with someone they can share a life with. Feeling loved and being connected is a core need for humans.
So, how do we navigate the dating world and find that special person?
Can you really manifest your ideal partner using the law of attraction? The answer is yes!
Your next questions are probably these: How? And what the heck is the law of attraction? Simply put, it is a universal law that says we will attract into our lives what we focus on. Whether it is positive or negative, whether you are aware of it or not, every thought you have and every emotion you feel affects your reality.
What does this have to do with dating and finding your ideal partner?
Remember, you get what you focus on. If you truly desire a partner but you are afraid of repeating past mistakes or think there are not good men/women out there, you will probably not be successful.
If you’re frustrated with not finding the right one, or are unclear on what you really want in a partner, chances are you will not attract anything positive in your life. The good news is you are in control of what comes into your life. Once you learn how to use the law of attraction, you can manifest the partner that is perfect for you.
Your thoughts create your reality.
The first step is to look at your thoughts because they really do create your reality. The right mindset will provide you with opportunity, creativity, energy, and confidence to create the life and relationship you truly want, instead of settling for something or someone you are not passionate about.
Albert Schweitzer once said, “Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success.”
The science of happiness is actually taught and studied at Harvard University, amongst other places. Too often we think that if certain areas of our life — relationships being one of the major ones — were just in order, we would be happy.
When we find that right partner, everything will be great.
The research actually says the opposite. We need to start with the happiness in order to attract that right partner.
This all starts with becoming aware of your prominent thoughts and becoming the observer of your thoughts. I suggest you set alarms on your phone for random times during the day. When the alarm goes off, simply notice your thoughts and feelings. Do not judge them, just be aware.
I consider myself an optimist. I can usually see the good or at least the potential in most circumstances. When I first did this exercise, I was amazed and sometimes appalled at how many negative thoughts I was having. At first, I was upset with myself until I got used to being the observer.
Eventually, I could laugh at myself and allow those thoughts to dissolve quickly.
When I first started working with my client, Wendy, she had thoughts and beliefs about her ability to have it all. Could she really have a successful career, do good in the world, and have her ideal partner? She was not sure she could have it all.
In my work with successful women, I have found this to be a common belief. Life is so good in so many areas, can I really have this success and a successful relationship? Wendy wasn’t sure her ideal partner even existed.
She had a vision in her mind of what an ideal life and partner looked like, but really wasn’t sure there was a man out there who would fit that vision. What beliefs do you have around dating and relationships that are holding you back from finding the love you desire?
In order to attract your ideal partner and have the relationship you desire, you must first believe you can have it!
So many people believe that love and happiness are possible and are excited about not only finding their partner but enjoying the journey. Not that long ago, I was single after being married for 28 years. The idea of dating was scary, but I was determined to have love in my life again. I knew there was another love out there for me and I would find him. I was not sure when or how but I knew I would be successful, and I was.
I am now happily remarried because of that belief!
Once Wendy believed she could have it all, she began to change not only her thoughts but her actions. She started meeting people and practicing her dating skills with a positive attitude knowing that in time, her right partner would come along. This was the first crucial step for her to take on her journey.
I suggest that you take a moment and write down all the thoughts you have about dating, men/women, and relationships. Take a look at which ones might be creating a reality you do not want. Remember, in the law of attraction, you create what you focus on.
Look for patterns in your thoughts. This will show you what areas you need to work on and what thoughts you need to change.
The past only affects your future when you let it. Just because you have not found that perfect partner yet doesn’t mean he/she is not out there and that you can’t meet them and have the relationship you want. It does mean you can’t do it with your current mindset. It requires making some changes.
Not only are positive thoughts and beliefs important, so are positive feelings. You can’t dwell on the lack of relationship but are rather focusing on the desire to have a partner. Tune in to the love and happiness you will share even before your partner shows up.
Successful singles have an air of confidence about them. They know who they are, and what they want.
They know what they have to offer in a relationship and have high self-esteem. Self-confidence and a passion for life are very attractive traits. Are you acting and living in a way that will attract your ideal partner? It is important to know what you have to offer in a relationship.
When I work with clients, I always have them write a list of what makes them an amazing partner. Keep this list handy and add to it as you think of new qualities. Go out dating with this in mind. Know your worth. This is the perfect time to take inventory and make any changes you need to.
When Wendy really got clear about who she was and all the amazing things she had to offer in a relationship, her attitude and confidence made a big shift. You could see and feel the change in her and so could the men she started meeting.
Most singles go out looking for a partner with a vague idea of what they want in a relationship and whom they hope to meet. This is like heading out on a trip without a map and hoping you get there.
Chances are you will end up someplace you didn’t want to go or just drive around, lost indefinitely. This is why many singles become frustrated with dating. You need a roadmap for dating just as you do for a trip.
It is important to identify what you truly want. Become clear about the kind of relationship and the qualities in a partner you are looking for. I do not mean superficial things like height, hair color, hobbies, and the shopping list some singles have. I mean the core values and life vision you must have in common for the relationship to work.
Now that you have your vision, spend time with it daily. Go back to being a child and daydream. Use the law of attraction to manifest your ideal partner. Instead of creating your life by default, start creating it by design.
Become clear on what you want. Get rid of the negative thoughts and limiting beliefs, and spend time in dreaming your relationship into reality.
When I was single, I did this every night before going to bed. I would spend time living in that relationship I was creating. I could not only imagine it but I could feel it, as if it was already there. I truly believed my partner was on his way to me and it was just a matter of time before we were together. This is an exercise I give all my clients. It is the beginning of Radical Dating using the law of attraction.
Now it is time for you to get started. Begin to monitor your thoughts and feelings, know who you are and what you want, and spend time dreaming your reality into existence.
By Lori Ann Davis, MA, CRS, Certified Relationship Specialist. Written in partnership with Radical Dating. Learn more about Radical Dating, and watch Episode 3 above!
Originally written by Radical Dating on YourTango
Photo by abdullah ali on Unsplash
