Relationships are complicated. For any marriage or long-term relationship to work, you have to spend a lot of time with that person and make a concerted effort to understand their needs and communicate your own in an open, collaborative, and productive manner.
At the same time, it’s common for even the healthiest, most connected, and deeply in love couples to fight, have controversies, and refrain from communicating from time to time when issues arise.
The most important thing to remember is that no relationship is perfect. Relationship and marriage problems may surface, but this doesn’t mean you have to stop fighting in order to live a happy life together.
All couples go through similar problems, and learning how to fix a relationship with some simple solutions can help you get back on the right track.
Here are seven of the most common problems people in marriages and long-term relationships face, along with simple solutions for each one:
1. Lack of communication
An unhealthy relationship is one in which couples fail to communicate. Do not make the mistake of thinking your partner knows what you are feeling. No one is psychic, so you must express your feelings in a clear manner.
Solution: Avoid aggressive communication, as this will have the opposite effect. Sit down with your partner and tell them how you feel without placing blame on them.
2. Constant criticism
Perfectionists have a difficult time being in a relationship. They are tempted to see their partner’s flaws and criticize them for anything they are not doing to their standards.
While a little bit of criticism can do wonders and motivate your partner, constant nagging will only cause the two of you to drift further apart.
Solution: Change your perspective and appreciate your partner for all the things they do well.
3. Fighting over chores
As adults, we no longer have our parents to handle the difficult things for us. In a relationship, chores are among the most common subjects of disputes, especially when both partners are working long hours. When the work is unequally divided, you might feel mistreated, and thus more inclined to fight.
Solution: A chore calendar is an obvious solution to the problem, with each partner handling a number of different chores each week.
4. Work/personal life balance
While your career is important to you, this does not mean you should neglect your personal life. Workaholics have a difficult time staying in a relationship, as they are rather married to their job and have the tendency to ignore their partner.
Solution: Make some sacrifices and try to maintain an adequate balance between your work and personal life. At the same time, if you feel like your partner does the same thing, be sure to talk about your feelings. Do not hide them away, or you will end up bursting at the wrong moment.
5. Cheating
It goes without saying that cheating is a serious red flag, leading to separation and even divorce.
Solution: The best thing is to talk openly about your relationship and find smart solutions to solve dissatisfaction. People say no one cheats just because they want to — partners might feel ignored, mistreated, or no longer loved. Pay attention to your partner, show your feelings, and communicate about what’s bothering you, so cheating won’t be a thing to worry about.
6. The right moment to become parents
Not all couples want children. But those who do often end up fighting about the right moment to become parents. Open communication always has a positive effect on a relationship, so tell your partner exactly what you are feeling.
Solution: If you want to wait, be sure to provide sound reasons. On the other hand, if you feel like they are not prepared, discuss the reasons behind these feelings. Do not spend your time trying to decipher your partner. You will end up frustrated, and this will create more distance between the two of you.
7. Money
Financial difficulties can place an additional strain on relationships. You will fight all the time about expenses and place the blame on your partner for spending too much.
Solution: Stop fighting and blaming one another first, as this will only cause you to fight more. Then, as responsible adults, organize a budget to cover your expenses and take simple measures to cut back. Shop with a list, avoid sales, and do not go overboard with personal expenses. As soon as you’re back on track financially, reward yourselves with a little something.
If you’re dealing with one or more of these issues with your partner, you’re not alone. But to learn how to fix your relationship problems, you must communicate in an open manner, trying to find the most efficient solutions together. Blaming your partner, criticizing, or condescending is never the solution.
Open communication and love are the two foundational stones on which all relationships are based. Love your partner and tell them how you feel. It is as simple as that.
Originally written by D. Begg on YourTango
Feature Image by Allef Vinicius on Unsplash
