6 Myths About Bisexuals Debunked

As someone who has been out as bisexual for a while, I have gained insight from my experience and others in the bisexual community about something many of us deal with: misconceptions. There is no infinite list of every myth and fact regarding being bisexual. But I’ve included a list of common misconceptions and the truth.

1. We’re attracted to everyone. 

Bisexual means attracted to more than one gender, not attracted to everyone. Like with any sexuality, everyone has their own preferences based on many factors, many of them out of our control. Sexuality is complex, so it would be an understatement (and wrong) to assume all bisexuals are attracted to everyone.

2. We’re attracted to an “equal” number of men and women.

Because “bi” means two, and we live in a binary world, people often assume that someone who is bisexual is “equally” attracted to men and women. The truth is that every bi person is different; everyone has different preferences for people. This doesn’t just include men or women, but nonbinary folks, genderfluid people, and any person we find attractive. The gender spectrum is diverse, and so is attraction. 

This assumption is particularly harmful because bisexual people may feel that they are not really bi if they are not attracted to men and women at the same level. I personally am more attracted to men than I am to women. And for a long time, I thought that meant I wasn’t “really” bisexual. But that’s not true. Sexuality is complex, and people feel how they feel. No one should ever invalidate your sexuality.

3. We’re more likely to cheat.

This goes with the first misconception. People assume that if someone is bisexual, they will engage in romantic and/or sexual relationships with multiple people at once. People even assume they will cheat when they are in a monogamous relationship. But that’s not true. If someone wants to cheat, they will cheat; it has nothing to do with their sexuality.

4. We all want threesomes. 

A desire or engagement in threesomes has nothing to do with being attracted to multiple genders. Plenty of monosexual people (people who only experience attraction to one gender) are interested in or engage in threesomes. It’s simply a matter of preference.

5. We’re “straight” if we date someone of the opposite gender and “gay” if we date someone of the same gender.

Dating someone of the opposite or same gender does not mean your bisexuality just disappears. Bisexuals have their preferences for monogamous (and polyamorous) relationships just as much as any other person. (I do want to note that some people use gay as a catch-all term for the LGBT+ community. That’s not how I’m using it here, but some people will call themselves gay, and that’s completely valid, too!)

6. We’re in a phase.

As I’ve mentioned, sexuality is complex. Plenty of people question their sexuality and identify differences as they go through their lives. That doesn’t mean their past identity was ever “fake” or “just a phase.” And many people latch on to an identity that’s right for them—and that includes bisexuality. It’s wrong to assume that bisexual people are unsure of themselves and will “choose a side” (there is no side to choose, anyway), and it’s incredibly invaliding to imply that bisexuality is not “real.” It is real, just as real as any sexuality. And it should be treated with respect.

Bisexuality isn’t any more mysterious than any other sexuality—in fact, sexuality as a whole is very mysterious to me! I don’t completely understand it, but I’m learning to be okay with that. We feel and don’t fully understand so many things, but that doesn’t mean we should disregard our feelings. Embrace who you are, whether you’re bisexual or something else entirely. The more we celebrate our differences, the happier we’ll all be.

Originally published on Her Campus

Photo by V T on Unsplash