Do you know how to love someone from a place of empathy and kindness? Three groups of partners are most affected by COVID-19’s forced togetherness.
The first is couples reveling in 24/7 togetherness because their loving, intimate, and passionate relationship was unshakeable before the virus struck.
Then, there are extremely civil couples in strained long-term marriages sharing the house as housemates do — coming and going with minimal intimate contact. They may share meals and even share a bed. But how much joy and laughter and touch is there?
Finally, there are the “in-between” couples making do with this challenging situation that puts every relationship under a microscope. They are proactive in looking for new ways to improve their relationships.
If you’re in the last group, I’m speaking to you!
Most major cities have reported that dog adoptions have gone up since the beginning of COVID-19. It’s not surprising since dogs bring us unconditional love! Your odds are far greater than with a human companion.
However, you aren’t locked into that grim reality that your relationship needs more.
Here are five steps to embrace empathy and kindness in your relationship and show your partner you love them.
1. Contribute to each other’s lives.
How much time do you spend each day thinking about how to make your partner’s life more wonderful?
According to Marshall Rosenberg, Ph.D., founder of Nonviolent Communication, this is a natural component of love — the desire and commitment to finding ways to contribute to one another.
2. Consider their needs at the moment.
Which have been the most effective ways to put a smile on your partner’s face? Some partners keep doing what they think will work again and again, feeling confused when those strategies fail to work again and again.
Others do what they want someone to do for them — again — that lacks empathy and consideration. It just doesn’t work now or when selecting a Christmas gift!
When we consider the needs of our partners and carefully craft options to please them, the relationship must improve.
3. Don’t let resentment build.
Passion is one “make it or break it” option for long-term relationships, but first, you need to get the other parts right.
Sexual desire is based in large part on trust and a feeling of safety in a long-term relationship. While passion for passion’s sake may be enough for a hot weekend if you’re going to see that person month after month and year after year, you cannot afford to let resentment build.
You will find yourself cut off and out in the cold, sexually and emotionally!
4. Get your finances together.
Finances are the other biggest challenge to long-term relationships. The financial pressure can either bring you closer together — you two against the world — or make one of you leave a sinking ship. And that has been the case during COVID-19.
Again, the biggest difference in both groups is not the finances — it’s the empathetic connection between the partners, a skill you must develop in yourself!
5. Have fun!
Fun is a surprising component of success during COVID-19. Even if fun wasn’t important to you before when you were busy with work and have many entertainment options, now that’s no longer true.
Amazon Prime and Netflix are only entertaining for a while, aren’t they? If you can make your partner laugh, you will find that your relationship is safer than the homes in which there is little laughter.
Ultimately, your ability to feel empathy, guess what your partner is feeling and needing, and hear your partner is crucial.
When you’re willing to do so until peace returns and intimacy is recreated, you’ve taken a huge step toward lifelong love!
The alternatives — Cold War or divorce — are just too costly and worse during COVID-19 than at any other time.
Originally written by Susan Allan on YourTango
Featured image via cottonbro studio on Pexels
