For most of us, we learn family values at a young age. We respect our elders, we call the grandparents on holidays, and we get together with cousins every few months. As a child, our family is everything to us. We rely on them for everything.
However, when you get older, you may find yourself straying away–and that’s okay. It’s also okay to make a new family with people who aren’t blood related.
You can’t change who your family is, but you can pick who you associate with.
I’m not digging at the people who have amazing family ties and have group chats and share memes. I’m talking to those who probably went through some serious life situations and soon started to realize which family members had their back and which ones turned on them. I do love my family, but I can only do so in spurts. I’m so different from my parents and my younger sister, and even my grandparents.
Becoming an adult has taught me so many things, and the most important one was knowing who I could rely on when shit hit the fan. And I can tell you right now it was not my mom or dad. Sure, I could call them with a question, maybe about my bank or something easy to fix. But when things at work were getting rough, they dismissed me and never understood me.
But that’s where my friends come in. During these times, I could go to my best friends and express my concerns. They would give me the feedback I needed to hear or the validation I needed, and I immensely appreciate them for this.
Sometimes, you can only tell your family the same thing so many times before giving up on the situation. Either they truly don’t want to see it from your point of view, or they don’t accept that you need a different approach or values. Let’s be honest: the world is changing daily. People live different lives once they move away from their parents.
The best thing you can do is to find your tribe. It can be your coworkers, people you grew up with, the older single mom or dad who lives in the apartment next to you. Anyone who will accept you for you. You don’t have to explain to them why you are the way you are.
Do not feel guilty for not informing your parents or someone you were once close with on life decisions if they aren’t going to support you. Chances are, someone else will who truly sees you for you. If you’re still trying to find that, know that I’m rooting for you in whatever it is you’re trying to find answers on.
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
