How To Know When It’s The Right Time To Say ‘I Love You’ For The First Time

Deciding if the time is right to say “I love you” for the first time can be confusing. Those three words may be referred to often as “little.” But they can feel like the scariest words you will ever speak when you think about saying them to the new love you’re dating.

Yet, at the same time, when the joyful emotion behind them fills your heart as you find yourself falling in love, the desire to shout it out from the mountaintop can be just as overwhelming as the fear of how they’ll react when you do.

How can you know when it’s the right time to speak this phrase aloud?

Here are five questions to ask yourself when you’re ready to say “I love you” for the first time in a new relationship.

1. Are you sure these words reflect how you truly feel?

Check in with yourself to see if you hesitate about whether or not your feelings for your new partner meet your definition of love.

We all experience love in our own way, although certain universal qualities to the emotions surface when it’s genuine. It can help to look through some quotes about love and see if the sentiments captured within them match those in your heart when you think of this person.

2. How will you feel if those words aren’t spoken in return?

It takes courage to say these words when there’s no guarantee they’ll be said to you in return. Speaking from this place of vulnerability requires that you have the strength to face whatever happens next.

Once it’s clear that you’re truly in love and trust this is the real deal for you, consider how you’ll feel if these words are not reciprocated.

Will you be devastated? In that case, you may want to hold off until you’re more aligned with speaking your own truth without needing your truth to be the same for someone else. When you’re there, you’ll be fine letting your feelings be known no matter what response you receive.

And remember, love means different things to different people.

If you don’t hear them say “I love you” back, it’s not necessarily the end of the world. Allowing your partner the space to say these words when it feels right in their own heart is a great practice in demonstrating your patience and trust.

3. Are you clear about your intentions?

Consider why you want to say these words at all.

Is your intention to find out the level of intimacy available if you take the initiative? Are you checking to see if this special someone feels the same way? Are you wondering if this person will flee because you sense a fear of commitment from them?

If you’re attached to some outcome because of expectations, know that you will create drama when you send that “I love you” message.

If the time is right, you should be in a place where you intend to say what mirrors the experience of love in your heart.

4. Do you trust them not to take advantage of the situation?

Saying “I love you” for the first time is a sacred gift and expression you consciously choose to share. And it’s important to remember that this is a gift they may or may not feel ready to receive. Even if they aren’t, you don’t want your willingness to speak these words viewed as a sign that you can now be taken advantage of, given the way you wear your heart on your sleeve.

Trusting that this person has your back, even if they don’t feel the same way yet, is mandatory.

5. Do you have a solid sense that love is present between you?

The last thing you want is to say these words only to discover someone doesn’t feel the same way about you.

What confirmation do you have that love exists between the two of you? Do you know that your words will validate what’s been developing for you both?

Bottom line: Say these words when true for you, and you can accept the reaction. Be sure the relationship offers a space where you feel free to be yourself without fear of judgment. There needs to be trust, no matter what.

That’s when saying “I love you” will be beautiful, and you can say it without any regrets.

Originally written by Carolyn Hidalgo on YourTango

Featured image via Leeloo Thefirst on Pexels