It is not uncommon for one person in a relationship to come to the idea of foster care before the other. If this is the case for you, then you will have a big conversation ahead. However, with the following advice, you can easily discuss being foster parents and convince your partner to get on board.
1. Start with the Facts
If you start with the facts about how to foster a child, then you create a big-picture moment for them to engage with. It is hard to ignore the truth of the situation, and the big pitch is that there is an undeniable deficit of foster parents in the country, and you could be filling that void. Children need safe homes, and it is an admirable calling to say the very least.
2. Provide Your Reasons
Once you have successfully conveyed the facts, you can move on to your thoughts, feelings, and reasons for wanting to walk down this road together. This must be a joint decision where each side of the partnership must completely agree about opening their home to a child in need. By communicating your reasoning, you begin to build rapport and plant seeds of inspiration in their mind, too.
3. Be Prepared for Anything
This may be a completely shocking conversation for your partner if fostering has never been on their radar before. They may wonder where the desire to foster is coming from and have valid thoughts and feelings about what that means for your family home. It is your job to listen, absorb, and respond with thoughtful words and feelings. There is no way to tell how they may respond, so whether it is overwhelmingly positive or disappointingly negative, take it on the chin and keep moving forward.
4. Explain the Process
You can also include a moment to explain the process of becoming foster parents and what that would entail for you both. It is important to highlight that you both have to be involved because it is not an option to foster as a single parent inside a home where two adults live as a couple. Your partner is either on board or this is not an option. Explain what they will need to do, how involved everything is, and how the process looks from this point forward.
5. Give Them Some Space
Once the conversation is over, make sure you allow for some space before asking for an answer. It doesn’t have to be a snap decision, and if it were the other way around, you would expect a respectful waiting period before agreeing (or disagreeing) to anything. Fostering a child is a major life change, so your partner is well within their rights to consider all of the angles before coming to a decision. This is also a great time to think about which one of you would step back from full-time work, and who would be the lead foster parent in your unit.
Talking to your partner about fostering is easy once you have the facts and the motive. Give them time to absorb what you’re saying and stick with it.
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