We don’t need to be strong. It’s OK to let the guard down now and then.
I have heard throughout my life how strong I am and what an inspiration I am. I’m flattered by this sentiment, and I greatly appreciate it. But I don’t want to be strong all the time, and guess what? I’m not strong all the time.
I used to feel like I had to be strong for my family. I sometimes still do, especially a few years ago because we went through so much. Over the years, though, I learned that I don’t need to hold myself together constantly. It’s OK for me to let my guard down too.
The moment that I realized that my mindset was starting to change was when my parents were starting the process of separating. It is still happening. We all had so many life stresses, and I could barely keep it together and stay mentally and emotionally strong. I was in one of my best friend’s cars when I started sobbing and saying how broken I felt. Surprisingly, they didn’t tell me that I was strong and that I would be OK. Instead, they told me that they knew how I felt. At that moment, I knew I didn’t have to put on a brave face for my friends.
Even now, I sometimes still feel guilty when I let my guard down and share my emotions so openly. I feel like people expect me to be strong, so I feel like I shouldn’t show them how I really feel. This guilt is complex because we may know that our friends probably won’t judge us for our true feelings, but we don’t want to place too much on their shoulders. But being closed off all the time is tiring, and emotional expression is important. We need to realize that the people who care about us also care about how we feel, and they’ll likely be OK with us being open with them.
Society expects people to hold in their emotions and be strong constantly, but we can slowly change this. Give yourself permission to express how you feel, and give your friends space to be emotional and let them let their guard down when they need to. Remind yourself that your emotions are valid and saying them is healthy.
Tell yourself that your true friends care how you’re really doing and want to help you in any way they can, even if that means listening to you vent for a bit.
If you struggle with the need to hide your emotions and let your wall down in front of others, remember how much strength it takes to share how you feel. You’re just as strong when you open up to others as you always were. Letting your guard down can be a good thing, and others may think you’re stronger when you let them into your world. Your true friends won’t think less of you for expressing your emotions either. They’ll see you as a badass because that’s exactly who you are, no matter what you do. Or how strong you may or may not be feeling.
Feature Image from Unsplash.
