Someone once told me that you can’t compare your mind to your heart because only one of them beats. I loved that cute analogy — it gave me a better perspective on love once I learned what it meant.
Love is the most powerful feeling we can experience – if we know how to do it correctly. Some people take years to understand what love is, and I am one of them. There is a difference between the right and the wrong kind of love.
The wrong kind of love looks like this:
1. Getting into a relationship before you know a person.
Don’t rush into a relationship before you know the person. I can’t count how often I rushed into a new relationship because I didn’t want to be alone. But I never really knew those people.
2. Saying that you love someone when you don’t.
When you say you love someone, you want to feel something for them. Saying “I love you” holds immense power, and you should learn how to use this phrase correctly. Before you say those three words, you should stop and get to know someone. I had my first boyfriend when I was 16 years old, and I told him I loved him. Then, in every relationship after that, I told them that I loved them. But that wasn’t the case.
3. Losing your virginity before being ready.
I find this common among young girls. But you don’t need to lose your virginity just to prove something to someone. And I can vouch for that. When I was 19 years old, I became homeless, and I hooked up with a stranger people told me was dangerous. Looking back, I regret making that decision.
Now that I’ve talked about the wrong kind of love, let’s talk about what the right kind looks like:
1. Be friends with the person first.
Being friends first allows you to get to know someone. But it also shows that you can be in a relationship with someone and still spend a lifetime getting to know each other.
2. Embrace intimacy.
I learned that real intimacy isn’t about sex. It is so much more than sex. Intimacy is spending time together, cuddling, watching TV, and just enjoying one another’s company.
3. Love unconditionally.
Unconditional love means loving someone with no limits. It means you don’t care if they’re different because you only want their happiness. Many people wait a lifetime to find unconditional love; it takes patience.
Now that you know the difference, you need to decide what kind of love you want. If you want the type where you barely know someone, sleeping with them and telling them that you love them when you don’t know that’s true, that’s your choice. But you can also go with moving slowly, getting to know someone, and loving them unconditionally. I did that with my fiance, and we’re still going strong.
In the end, the choice is yours.
Featured image via Allan Dias on Unsplash
