As an adult, I often notice how difficult it is to develop interpersonal relationships. It seems like whenever other people try to get to know me or share common interests, I end up shrugging it off and ending the conversation. The same happens with friends. I don’t tell them my secrets, even when I’ve known them for years and know I can trust them. I also struggle to ask them for help.
I have an avoidant attachment style.
My attachment style affects the way that I communicate. Moreover, it also influences the way that I develop friendships and relationships.
When I’m at work and face challenges, it’s difficult to communicate. I often keep the problem in the back of my mind, aiming to resolve it on my own instead of allowing my colleagues to help. If my co-workers do ask if I need help, I straight-up decide not to admit it.
I’m not sure if this habit is the result of being overly self-reliant, but I’ve noticed that it’s destructive not only towards me, but also to my colleagues and our overall team dynamic.
I’m trying to break out of the loop of relying heavily on myself and never getting what I need.
It’s perfectly fine to ask for help, and no one’s against me. But I still struggle to trust others to see me in a good light.
This may be due to a combination of childhood experiences and past workplace dynamics. I also might tend to rely on myself because I tend to feel like others leave me out.
I now know that being “different” can provide a fresh perspective in both friendships and work relationships. Hopefully, I’ll reclaim myself from my trauma. In time, I’ll learn to trust more people and accept their help. I still have a long way to go in meeting this goal, but my view of myself and others will slowly change for the better.
If you struggle to trust others and try to resolve problems on your own, remember that you don’t have to always fend for yourself. You have a support system on your side, and when you open up, you’ll eventually find that people want to help you. The process of learning to trust will take time, but it’ll be worth it in the end.
Featured Photo by Mimi Thian on Unsplash.
