I recently went through an argument with someone. Basically they asked me a question about what was going on in my life, and I chose to not respond. But they kept prodding and I chose again to not respod. So I decided to share a post on Facebook related to the situation I was going through.
However, I got a text from the same person saying that I was posting about them and it wasn’t right. It was a long message all about how I wronged them.
When I sat there and looked at the text, I felt so many emotions. Anger and guilt, stirred in me, making me feel like I was in the wrong. But all I did was share about how I felt.
How was that wrong?
I could have fought back. And I could have said what was on my mind. At the time, I felt like cursing this person out. I wanted to tell them how I’ve really felt about them over the years.
But instead, I kept my mouth shut. I pretended like I didn’t see the message and went about my day.
It wasn’t a conversation that we needed to have. Sure, I could have said something and started an argument. But this person displays narcissistic behavior; somehow. I knew that they would twist my words and use them the wrong way. So I kept quiet.
Also, this person didn’t deserve a response. They called me out and didn’t acknowledge my feelings. Instead, it was all about them and all how they felt. Apparently, I was a big part of the problem, even though their comments made me feel this way in the first place. This caused the issue to arise even more.
After a few days, this person sent me another message. .This time, they complained how I kept quiet about the last text. Now, I was being “rude” and “immature” about it; keeping quiet about the situation was “ impolite” because I “owed” them a response.
Oh, I was pissed.
Who the hell was this person speaking to me like this? And what made them think I “owed” a response?
Sweetie, I don’t owe anyone a single thing on this planet. If I choose to keep quiet about something, that is my decision. I’m a grown woman, and I can do whatever the hell I want.
Again, I wanted to respond, and I had so much to say. But again, my silence would say much more than an angry text.
Either way, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.
So, I made the choice that benefitted me more than the other person. They wanted to start a fight, and they wanted to to use my words against me even when they were in the wrong.
But you know what? This person can’t say I said something when I didn’t. And it wasn’t like I would say something that would hurt this person’s feelings they way they did mine.
The silence wouldn’t make the person see me if a different light the way their text to me did.
They can twist their words against me, but not my silence. And the silence wasn’t filled with words that I couldn’t take back, like the texts that I have sitting on my phone. Regardless as to what this person says or thinks, the silence sent a clear message. It d was not immature. Their name calling and berating me via text was.
And you know what? Maybe this person will cool down and realize what they said to me was cruel. And maybe they’ll learn their lesson when they try to reach out and get no response. Or maybe they’ll learn when I’m no longer around to associate with them.
But it’ll be too late, because this was the last straw. Sure, maybe I was wrong to a degree, but I didn’t name call or berate anyone. And they’re going to have to deal with their decision the rest of their life.
And that’s their fault, not mine.
