I think we’ve all been in this situation: Someone we love pisses us off and makes us angry. We want to scream and rip our hair out.
This can be with anyone — a friend, partner, or relative. Unfortunately, the closer the relationship is, the more upset we get because we never expect this person to drive us to this point of anger and frustration.
You look at this person and the acts that they caused, and you don’t know how you feel about them anymore. You ask yourself, “Do I still love them?” And if you have to ask yourself this question, the simple answer is yes.
When it comes to love, it tends to be unconditional, especially if it’s with someone who has been in your life for a long time.
However, just because we care about someone doesn’t mean we have to like them.
We have all said ”I hate you” to siblings, friends, or family members before, and we know the feelings are still there. We have all done some pretty shitty things to people, and we know that the love is still there.
Sometimes we’ve said some pretty messed up angry things to people, and they know we still care about them.
But sometimes, love isn’t enough.
“They called me names, but it’s OK because they’re who they are, and I love them.”
“They made me feel like shit, but it’s OK because we have history, and I love them.”
No. That’s bullshit.
You do not have to keep someone around just because you care about them. You do not have to make yourself the villain in someone else’s story because you love them.
You can dislike and cut people off even if you adore them.
There comes a point when love is not enough anymore, and you must find a way to let them go.
You can love someone and not want anything to do with them.
You can love someone and have no desire to speak to them ever again.
You can love someone and not want a relationship with them.
You can love someone and simply not like them.
Just because you have strong feeling for them doesn’t mean they get free reign in your life. You don’t have to handle their abuse, name-calling, and manipulative behavior.
No one is guaranteed a front-row seat in your life. No one has the right to know anything you don’t want them to know. And if that person doesn’t understand this, it’s time to cut the strings.
It doesn’t mean you don’t care about them; you wouldn’t care this much if you didn’t. It just means that they bring too much disruption to what you’re trying to do with your life.
Love does not automatically mean “I can treat you however I want and not care about the repercussions.” It doesn’t give you a “get out of jail free” card either.
It just means that the person has to stick around to deal with your bullshit. But even then, love isn’t enough sometimes.
So do what’s best for you. And if that means saying goodbye, then do so. Because if they truly loved you, they wouldn’t have done this.
Featured image via Rachel Claire on Pexels
That doesn’t imply you don’t care about them; in fact, it shows how much you care.