Seven years ago, I was talking with my classmate. It started as a casual conversation, and then it somehow escalated. I decided to talk about much more personal topics, and they listened. Then, they replied with:
“You carry too much emotional baggage. You need to write it down instead of texting other people.”
At first, I never thought about writing my emotions down, mainly because I thought it was seemingly unhealthy. Although writing can be therapeutic for certain people, keeping a diary meant digging myself into a deeper hole of my already overwhelming emotions.
I remember keeping a diary when I was in grade three. Whenever something terrible happened, I felt almost awful writing about it. I felt as if I was reliving the event, which was super traumatic. As I was writing out my thoughts, my emotions got the best of me and consumed me. I broke down many times as a result of this. And from that time, I noticed that the only way I could deal with my emotions was to talk to someone.
Knowing this, I began talking to my close friends about current issues or life events. Recently, I spoke a lot with one person about my current situation. This one person has thankfully helped me navigate through my current life demands. But then, just the other day, they told me:
“If you’re feeling overwhelmed, please write it down and talk to your other best friend.”
As soon as I heard this phrase, I felt I was reliving the previous moments again. Instead of having my feelings accepted, I was being told to bottle them up and be consumed by them. Moreover, I felt I was being dismissed as I was told to “talk to my other best friend” instead.
Therefore, I learned that I need to do more than write or rationalize my feelings whenever I go through hardships.
I need to talk to someone about my emotions and feelings.
Although it can be draining, I learned that sharing my emotions with someone can be much more of a bonding experience: hearing other people’s perspectives and explanations of the situation creates more of a connection between me and the other person. I feel as if I am heard and listened to, which allows me to realize I am not alone.
Moreover, I also realized that my emotions tend to stabilize whenever I share my concerns with another person. I learned that it is valid to have thoughts and feelings about any situation I’m facing. But overall, I learned I can navigate the problem without being consumed by my emotions.
So, whenever someone confides in you, it may not be a great move to tell them to “write their emotions down.” The person may be telling you what they feel for a reason, and it’s important to acknowledge that, especially when you’re friends.
Featured image via Velizar Ivanov on Unsplash
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