As human beings, we often feel the need to have comments on everything. Whenever our friend makes a decision, we all feel the need to share our opinions to express our emotions. Throughout this process, we hope the other party understands our explanation and considers our thoughts.
Communication can be healthy and strengthen human relationships. It allows the other party to know our innermost thoughts about their situation. But at times, this behavior can be toxic, especially when advice or suggestions are uncalled for.
Think of a time when you told someone about your dreams and ambitions. You said what you wanted to do, what you wanted to become, and your journey towards that specific destination.
The person replies, “Oh, but won’t it be too late?”
As you further explain your plans, the person continues to barrage you with more questions: “But don’t you want to aim higher? But don’t you want to succeed? But didn’t you want to do something else?” They continue to inform you about their concerns.
Throughout these conversations, sharing thoughts and opinions with the other party can become more toxic and demeaning. It can be quite judgemental, especially when everyone goes through different circumstances and struggles.
And when people continue to bombard you with their comments and suggestions, it can be quite demeaning. You feel as if your life is watched through a telescope, with everyone judging and commenting on whichever action you take. And you feel you’re taking the wrong step, as others seem to disagree with your decisions and choices.
So, you question yourself and wonder if you’re making the correct decision. You ask: Should I continue or not? Should I just go back to what the other person told me earlier? Am I perhaps too unqualified for this?
You then begin to dig yourself into a deeper hole of self-doubt.
However, you may realize that the other people around you necessarily don’t know what’s best for you.
Everyone has values, and their judgments and decisions are based on their characteristics. These characteristics are shaped by experiences and cultures, which tend to differ between people. Everyone grew up differently, so their own experiences may differ from yours. Some people may have had a bad experience with the path you chose to take, but it is best not to let their own experience get to you, as you are free to make your own decisions in life.
Plus, no one knows yourself better than you do.
You know yourself the best, and you know what your preferences are. When someone decides to comment on your decision, they are just commenting based on their own preferences. But their preferences cannot be the same as yours.
So, it’s best not to let these comments get to you.
People are free to say whatever they want, but their life is not yours, and their personality does not resemble yours. You are your own person, with your own values, characteristics, and experiences. You need to make whatever decision feels right to you, based on what you have witnessed in life, not what others have witnessed.
So, remember to continue doing you. And not listening to others who are pretending to live your life.
Featured image via M Venter on Pexels
