You Finally Made Me Hate You

You did it. You made me hate you. You finally succeeded.

You did everything in your power to send me away. You thought you were protecting me and doing me a favor. But you weren’t. You were hurting me. You always felt that you had to protect me and that I couldn’t handle myself. That caused you to create situations that hurt me more than I’ve ever been hurt. 

I never wanted to hate you, and I never wanted to feel such anger and resentment toward you. At first, it was magical. It was perfect. You were the first boy to ever make me believe in love. But you were also the boy who changed me to think that there isn’t such a thing as love. 

You lusted me. You wanted something you knew you couldn’t have. And when you got it, you didn’t like it anymore. I was just a pet that you got to carry around. I would call it a trophy but it wasn’t even close to that. 

I felt like unnecessary baggage that you had to bring along just because I had the label “girlfriend.” You didn’t make me feel like I was the only girl in the world. You made me feel like something to boost your ego. Something that makes you look more attractive to others. Something that makes you more appealing to others.

But there is so much more to me. And you learned that. I treated you like the best person in the world. Truth be told my eyes only caught you. I didn’t think about others. I didn’t think about my image. I didn’t use you as an ego booster. You were a person. A person that I loved and adored. A person I would’ve taken a bullet for in a heartbeat. And I think that’s when your humanity kicked in. 

You started to feel sad and empathy for me. You knew I deserved better. You knew you didn’t deserve me. Yet, the thought of me with someone worth loving made you sick. Because despite the fact that you didn’t actually love me, you loved my full-blown devotion to you. You knew you’d never again get that type of devotion from anyone else. 

Screwing with me was easier than letting me find happiness. And when I figured that out I was devastated. Broken. The person I loved wanted to destroy me out of personal enjoyment. That was the moment I knew I had to hate you. And you did it. You made it work. You made it happen. 

I hate you. You will never have that piece of me like you once had. And I will never again be that devoted girl that you once wanted me to be.

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