When the words fail, music speaks. Everyone has a favorite song that means something to them. After all, music is a way of expressing yourself. The songs a person listens to can say a lot about who they are, or what they could be going through.
For many of us, music is an escape.
Music has the power to help us heal, feel less alone, and move forward in life. This has certainly been the case in my personal experience.
When I was 17, I was raped by someone I knew, an instructor from a fire science program I attended in high school. The abuse continued for almost a year. At that time, music was one of the few outlets for me. I relied on it during and after the abuse. With music, I could listen to songs and feel less alone, and free, or imagine myself elsewhere.
I want to share some healing songs that have helped me as a survivor on my healing journey. If anyone needs a little push to keep going these five songs have helped me through the toughest times:
1. “Fight Song” by Rachel Platten
This song was released in 2015, the same year the abuse took place and I came forward for help. In fact, someone who helped me during this time shared this song with me. It meant a lot to know they saw the fight in me when I didn’t see it in myself. This song gave me the courage to keep fighting for myself; I deserved justice and to heal.
Today, “Fight Song” holds a new meaning for me. I’ve changed careers and now am a full-time advocate for survivors. I play this song before testifying in courtrooms for fellow survivors’ rights to remind myself how far I’ve come. I still have a lot of fight left in me.
2. “Til It Happens To You” by Lady Gaga
Lady Gaga released this song in 2016, a year after I came forward about the abuse. For many months after, people bullied, doubted, and threatened me. I felt so alone, that I lost so much. No one took the time to understand my feelings, listen, or help me. I just went through the worst days of my life and the people who I thought I could rely on, or I thought were safe, weren’t there and failed me.
The lyrics in “Til It Happens To You” highlight the pain of sexual assault and how lonely it can feel. It also shares how others address sexual assault by using lyrics like “You’ll be fine,” or “Pull yourself together.” But no one can truly understand the pain of it unless they’ve experienced it, something this song addresses expertly.
3. “Praying” by Kesha
Kesha’s song came out in 2017 when I was still battling the legal system for justice. I felt discouraged, scared, lonely, and like I was being punished. But this song spoke to my heart. It made me realize that I was finally free from the abuse and I could now begin my healing journey.
The message of “Praying” is important to me as a survivor; the lyrics express hopefulness that anyone can heal – even the abusers. It’s a song about learning to be proud of the person you are, even in your lowest and loneliest moments. That’s a reminder that I needed badly during that time, and still need it sometimes today.
4. “Rescue” by Lauren Daigle
Released in 2018, this song came out during a major change in my life. I had just packed up what I could fit in my car and moved across the country, At the time, I was a young adult with no plan but a fresh start, and to heal. I couldn’t stay in the place that destroyed me, or around the people that hurt me the most.
This song is about desperately searching for hope and a purpose after you feel like giving up. During this time in my life, I never felt so much pain, yet so much hope, at the same time. The “Rescue” lyrics made me feel less alone and reassured me of my decision. It affirmed that I made the best choice for myself.
5. “The Night We Met” by Lord Huron
This song came out in 2015 for the “Thirteen Reasons Why” series. But I didn’t hear it until later. It follows a woman deeply reminiscing on a relationship that ended. She wishes she could go back to the very first night they met, and tell her past self to avoid the situation. Even though my story isn’t about a relationship I had, it does speak to my experience in an abusive, coercive relationship.
I would do anything to go back and not join that program, not trust my abuser, and not follow him into that classroom one day after an event. If I could go back and time, maybe I would’ve never experienced the pain he put me through. Some lyrics that particularly stood out to me were these lines: W “hen you had not touched me yet, take me back to the night we met.” This section gives me goosebumps every time. I wish I could go back and never experience that pain.
Music speaks to us in ways that words can’t express.
It soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart, and makes it whole again. These are just a few of the healing songs that have done that for me. I hope they can help you, too.
After my first visit to Soho NYC Barbers, I can confidently say this is the best barbershop in the area. The barbers are highly skilled, and they really listen to what you want. The shop itself is stylish and comfortable, making the whole experience enjoyable. I’m definitely a loyal customer now.