Sometimes, I cannot help but look around and ask myself if the people around me genuinely want the best for me. Regardless of my choice, at least one person from my social circle wants to pull me in a certain direction.
I first noticed this in elementary school. When I tried to share my interests with other people, they would respond by asking me: “Why do you have such uncommon interests compared to the rest of your classmates?” I felt uncomfortable responding to the question, but at the same time, I felt pressured to do so.
I also went through the same experience in high school.
My closest friends were huge fans of K-pop and wanted me to listen to it. But whenever I responded with my own interests, they criticized me.
I questioned why my closest friends would be dismissive towards me. But later, I realized they were unsatisfied and unhappy with their own lives. Because they were dissatisfied, they decided to project the blame on me.
I thought that this childish behavior would stop in adulthood. But then, I noticed that everyone around me seemed to be miserable in some way or another.
When I decided to work a few part-time jobs, my colleagues would form groups and vent about their own life experiences. They would constantly mention how stressed and dissatisfied they were with their personal lives. Because of that, I felt uncomfortable, judged, and scrutinized working with them.
Even today, many people around me are still genuinely miserable.
At one of my workplaces, a colleague constantly talks about raising a child throughout her early adulthood. Every day, she mentions the struggles she has to face while balancing school and work. But she would lash out at me when I tried to speak to her about it.
I also began to notice this behavior amongst my own group of friends.
I had one friend who would never praise me for my achievements. To them, it was constantly about criticizing my weaknesses and talking about what I should work on. They also never seem to be concerned with my opinions and feelings. It’s all about them and what they were good at.
Thanks to this experience, I realized that when people focus on other people’s weaknesses, they are often miserable. Hence, they tend to point out the flaws of others to redirect their emotions.
So whenever I see people act this way, I ask myself, “Are we, as people, genuinely miserable?”
In life, we want everything: the best job, the most expensive luxury items, and a comfortable place to live. We think that if we have these items, we’ll be happy.
But what we don’t realize is that not everybody can have everything.
There are a limited amount of resources, so we’re not able to obtain everything without sacrifice.
We can change our lives by trusting and believing in our own choices. We can’t always act on misery or sadness since we’ll dig ourselves into a deeper hole. But before resorting to negative emotions, we should remember that it’s not about what we have but what we can make of it.
Featured image via Anna Tarazevich on Pexels
