Looking back on my journey from my first relationship to my happy, healthy marriage now, it’s clear that my view on love has changed a lot.
The loud and heated arguments I saw growing up shaped my early ideas about love. My parents’ relationship was full of yelling and drama, and I initially thought that was just how relationships were supposed to be. But over time, I’ve learned that real love is something much more peaceful, supportive, and unconditional.
In my first relationship, I was stuck in those same patterns.
Arguments would blow up, and it felt like fighting was just part of the deal. But after a while, I started to see that this wasn’t healthy or something that I really wanted. I needed to find a better way to express love.
Throughout most of my other relationships, I had to learn that conflict and explosive arguments weren’t normal and learned not to be comfortable in the chaos.
Over the years, therapy has really changed my view on what a healthy relationship should look like. I’ve learned how to communicate better by listening more and sharing my feelings openly and honestly instead of arguing or blaming. I also learned to handle conflicts constructively by focusing on solving problems together rather than just trying to win.
Therapy also showed me how important it is to understand myself, my background, my trauma, and how to properly manage my emotions, which helps me be more empathetic and supportive. Setting boundaries and respecting each other became key lessons, ensuring our relationship is about mutual support rather than stress. All these takeaways have made my approach to love and relationships much healthier and more fulfilling.
The turning point for me was realizing that love doesn’t have to be dramatic.
I began to explore what healthy relationships look like. I learned about effective communication, managing emotions, and resolving conflicts positively. It became clear that love should be a place of calm and comfort, not constant turmoil.
When I entered my marriage, things felt different right away. My partner and I work hard to communicate calmly, support each other, and meet each other where we are. We handle disagreements respectfully and use them as chances to grow closer rather than letting them drive us apart. This approach has strengthened our bond and made our relationship a source of joy and security.
Overall, my view on love has shifted from the chaos I grew up with to a more serene and supportive way of relating to each other. I’ve learned that love is about creating a space where both people feel valued, heard, and understood, even when disagreements occur. It’s about being there for each other and working through problems together. This new understanding has made my marriage incredibly fulfilling and shown me that love can be calm, comfortable, and unconditional.
We all pick up valuable lessons about healthy love as we go through our relationships. One big takeaway I’ve learned is that love shouldn’t be full of drama and fights; it’s more about being understanding, supportive, and respectful.
Good communication and being honest with each other really make a difference. Positively handling conflicts and setting boundaries help keep things on track. Ultimately, we learn that real love means making each other feel valued and secure, and that true happiness comes from growing together and caring for one another.
Looking back, I’m so thankful for the love and appreciation I’ve found in my current relationship. Being with someone who truly cares for me makes all the past heartache feel worth it. I’ve learned and grown so much, making me appreciate what we have even more. I’d go through all the heartbreak again if it meant ending up with him. My favorite part of each day is when we come home from work to each other. Our connection is everything I hoped for, and I’m incredibly happy to be with him.
Featured image via Maksim Goncharenok on Pexels
