Conversations are often slower with coworkers, family, or friends. Why? I need people to repeat things.
I am a person who is Hard of Hearing, or “HoH” for short. When I was born, I had hearing loss. As a newborn, I ruptured an eardrum, which led to permanently losing a small part of my hearing. I had tubes implanted in both ears, a fairly common procedure.
Growing up, I had trouble hearing things.
I could hear sounds, but they sounded muffled. And I could listen to someone’s voice and recognize who it belonged to, but I couldn’t parse out the words the first time. On top of that, I had frequent ear infections; this led me to take extra care to keep my ears dry with earplugs and wax when I showered or swam. For a long time, people blamed my inability to understand what people were saying to me not learning or paying attention in school, not understanding that I was HoH.
I had the tubes removed in elementary school, and I no longer need to use wax. But I still have to be careful to avoid water getting in my ear. When I do get the occasional ear infection, it lasts for months, even with treatment.
That doesn’t change the fact that to this day, I still have trouble hearing. I don’t qualify for hearing aids; that would require more hearing loss than what I have now. As I mentioned, I can hear sound. It’s interpreting the sound that stumps me. Hearing aids would not help with that clarity.
One thing that sucks about being HoH is loud sounds. They suck. I’ve never been to a concert; the mere thought sounds like it would be miserably painful. In college, I couldn’t stand big events; all the noise caused pain and headaches. And even after I left the scene, I struggled to hear, which could last anywhere from a few minutes to a half hour.
After leaving a crowded area, the normal ambiance sounds muted. This has led to me speaking louder, which has caused people to tell me to keep my voice down many, many times. In fact, speaking loudly has gotten me in trouble in school and at work.
I let people know I’m hard of hearing, but they always seem to forget as soon as the conversation ends! People try to whisper something to me from across the room, to be courteous to someone who is on the phone, and I have to remind them again that I’m HoH.
The next day, I’ll be working in a hall crowded with students, and someone will insist they’ve been calling my name for a while now. They forget that crowded hallways have a lot of background noise; I can’t hear them unless they’re more direct and clearer with me.
Why do I constantly have to remind people how to talk with me?
I’ve had a coworker and good friend send me a 20-minute audio file to transcribe. I’ve had someone mumble something across the room to me and expect me to hear it – and respond. It’s beyond exhausting.
As people, we have to remember that not everyone’s the same.
Some friends need help, and some of us interact differently with the world than others. It’s up to you to be a good person and to remember what works and what doesn’t when interacting with someone close to you. And when someone tells you that they have trouble with something, don’t take it lightly. For them, this is a serious struggle that happens every day with a lot of people.
Keep it in mind if you keep those friends in your heart.
Photo by Yordan Yordanov on Pexels
