Are you nervous about going face-first into a crotch? Do you want to understand the basics of a vulva so you can please your partner? Do you worry about not knowing what to do with your tongue? Look no further, friend! I will gently guide you on how to take that first step.
Whether you are gay or straight, it is your civic duty to be a giving lover. Making love comes with some give and take. But to be an amazing, 10/10 lover, you have to be willing to give. That means caring for your partner’s pleasure more than your own.
Giving head is just one of the many ways to do that. The phallus is certainly a bit easier to navigate. Some have even described the vulva as a “labyrinth” or “complicated folds” with hidden parts of pleasure, pain, sensitivity, and secrets.
1. Make sure your partner is comfortable.
Grab some pillows so they can enjoy the show. For many, just seeing your handsome face between their thighs is a turn-on.
2. Never skip the foreplay!
Arousal makes trying new things easier with eagerness from both you and your partner. So, kisses on the thighs and hips to warm up will go a long way.
3. Don’t be afraid to use lube.
The natural wetness will help with lubrication as we dive in. However, not all people lubricate themselves the same way! There is no shame in bringing in a safe water-based lubricant where oral is involved.
Some people find that actually making that first move into the oral is difficult, especially without experience. So, if you struggle, I want you to picture licking an ice cream cone.
If you have ever had an ice cream cone before, you usually start with a wide, flat tongue making long, sweeping licks. Ensure your mouth is wide open to catch any droplets as you do.
Then, as you have more ice cream, it starts to go into the cone more. You usually point your tongue forward more at that point, making a more rigid tip to push through the ice cream. You may even slightly curve your tongue to catch the gathering frosty sweetness on your tongue like a spoon. Feel free to get creative here as you explore, as every vulva is a bit different. Some find more arousal near the vagina, while others simply enjoy it over the clit. It’s important to be in tune with your partner to tell what they like and don’t like!
As you eat more ice cream, you munch down the cone a bit to reach more. There should NOT be teeth involved in this scenario. Unless you are both into that — I’m not a cop!
However, as the cone gets down to the bottom, the opening is narrower than the top of the cone once was. At this point in the ice cream, you often make your tongue into a pointed tip again like the last phase, but this time seal your lips over the cone and suck the melty ice cream. Sucking is one of the most key erogenous experiences in sensitive areas like this. When you combine it with feeling around with your forward-pointing tongue, it can be a winning combo!
If you have gotten this far, you may find that your jaw is getting tired from staying so wide open for all the licks of your delicious ice cream. Feel free to take a break if you need to, and breathe through your nose while you are sucking! Nobody wants a cold breath blowing on their damp, sensitive skin.
By now, you should have a much better idea of what your partner likes and what you enjoy too. It might be for your partner, but it’s meant to please both of you! Keep practicing until you find what works best. As mentioned before, every vulva is different! You can even go on a date to get ice cream cones to practice the moves first with your tongue as a workout. Remember that communication is most important, and practice makes perfect.
Featured image via Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels
