I was recently in a situation where someone felt they could insult me due to a situation that didn’t benefit them. When that person decided to attack me verbally over a simple misunderstanding, I could feel my patience waning. I could tell they expected me to fold, be kind, and let their words roll over me without consequence. But that’s not how I work.
I chose to remain silent, not because I had nothing to say but because I knew the outcome would be otherwise explosive. There’s a power in silence, which most people don’t realize. I looked over at my mom and said, “This person does not want me to be a bitch to them because I can guarantee you I can be a bigger bitch than they are. And they won’t see it coming.”
That’s the thing people don’t realize about me. Yes, I’m kind, and I always strive to be. I’ll be the person who brightens your day, gives you the benefit of the doubt, and offers a smile even when it’s not reciprocated. My goal is to make the world a little more pleasant for the people around me. Most people would describe me as “the nice one,” which is fine by me. It’s true. I am nice. But being nice doesn’t mean being weak. It doesn’t mean I’m someone you can walk all over or disrespect without consequence.
What people fail to understand is that just because I’m quiet and don’t respond to every snide comment or rude remark doesn’t mean I’m oblivious.
I hear everything. I pick up on every word, every subtle shift in energy. I see how people’s tones change when they think I’m an easy target. I notice when the energy in a room shifts, when someone’s vibe goes from friendly to condescending or worse. I take note of it all. And while I might not react immediately, I file it away. I let those comments sit in the back of my mind, waiting for the next time it happens.
I’m not the type to fly off the handle. I don’t make impulsive decisions or lash out just because I’m irritated. That’s not who I am. It takes a lot to get me to that point. But when I reach my limit, people are often surprised by the force of my response. They’re caught off guard because they assume my kindness equals submission, that my silence means acceptance. It doesn’t. It means I’m biding my time, choosing the right moment to assert myself in a way that will leave an impact.
There’s a certain strength in maintaining composure and picking your battles carefully.
I prefer to handle things with grace and class, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have it in me to put someone in their place when necessary. I may not be quick to anger, but when I do get mad, it’s usually because someone has underestimated me for far too long. And when that happens, I make sure they remember it.
I value being kind over cruel and would much rather spread positivity than negativity. But just because I choose kindness doesn’t mean I can’t stand up for myself. People tend to mistake kindness for weakness, but I assure you they’re not the same. My kindness is a choice, and I’ll continue to make it. But if someone pushes me too far, they’ll quickly realize I can be a force to be reckoned with.
While I may not lash out without cause, I certainly won’t sit back and let someone treat me with disrespect. I’m not afraid to speak up when the time is right. And when that moment comes, people often find themselves rethinking how they approached me in the first place. It’s a balance, really. I’ll choose to be kind first, but don’t mistake that for passivity. Because when I need to be, I can be a bigger bitch than anyone ever expected.
Featured image via Circling Sea on Unsplash
