A Year Older, A Year Wiser: 30 Life Lessons I Reflect On As I Celebrate My Birthday

I had my 8th annual 30th birthday recently. There’s something about selecting my birth year on a drop-down menu, like spinning the wheel on “The Price Is Right,” which causes a gal to reflect. 

In no particular order, here are 30 life lessons from my spins around the sun thus far:

1. Self-care is non-negotiable. I’ve never particularly fallen into a category of martyrdom. I know it’s more than okay to prioritize my needs. After all, if I don’t take care of myself, how can’t I take care of others?

2. Mental health is health. Refer to the period above and full stop. 

3. Burnout is real. In the long run, pushing through exhaustion has only ever set me back. We aren’t hamsters, so let’s hop off of the damn wheel and take a nap. 

4. In the literal sense, lazy is a four-letter word. In the symbolic, it is a naughty word, shining its crown amongst the damns of the dictionary. Rest is productive – taking breaks is a necessity, not an indulgence. 

5. The phrase, take responsibility for your happiness – no one else is in charge of it, can kick rocks. Happiness isn’t linear or absolute. 

6. Ask for help. It is okay. After all, seeking support doesn’t make us weak; it makes us human (to the chagrin of captchas). 

7. Trust your intuition. No matter how great it may look on paper, if my gut is telling me something isn’t quite right, I listen to it. 

8. There is always a but — change is inevitable, but we’re under no obligation to embrace change. 

9. Speak kindly to yourself and treat yourself well, for the world may not. 

10. My productivity doesn’t define my worth. Society conditions us to ask, “How was work?” and not, “How was your day?”. Whether underemployed, unemployed, or out of the workforce, people don’t or can’t work for many reasons. 

11. Forgiveness is for you. It does not mean forgetting, but forgiveness has a way of unburdening the mind — a final fuck you, it’s not my problem anymore. 

12. Stay curious, as there is always something new to learn, whether through formal education or life itself. Like student loan debt, learning never ends.

13. Money can’t buy happiness. It isn’t an item that can be added to my shopping cart, but it can relieve financial stress, which, you know, I’m not mad at. 

14. Smile and say fromage. If a person you love wants to take a picture, take the picture. Because one day, a picture may be all we have left of the person we love — or vice versa.

15. Be bold. Some of the best things in life come from saying yes to the unexpected — except unexpected bangs, you’re on your own kid. 

16. Our talents and skills may not align with what makes us happy. 

17. Hobbies and hustles are not the same. 

18. Success looks different for everyone; define what it is for you.

19. My past does not define me. 

20. Not everyone will like me, and that’s okay. 

21. Not all relationships will last — familial, romantic, or platonic — I have and will outgrow others, just as they are allowed to outgrow me. 

22. Appreciate the little things such as a sunset, delicious meal, time with loved ones, or the word “no.” No is versatile, compact, and fits neatly wherever I go. It even makes a complete sentence! Life hack, y’all, life hack.  

23. Put the phone up! The best memories aren’t in Reels but in real life. 

24. Time is our most valuable resource, so use it wisely.

Strength looks different every day. On some, strength is powering through; other days, it’s giving ourselves a break. 

25. Sometimes, the best decision is to let go and move on. It takes more than love to sustain a relationship. 

26. Gratitude shifts everything – focusing on what you’re thankful for shifts your mindset and helps build resilience when the chips are down.… but that doesn’t mean you have to practice toxic positivity. Negative emotions are not a moral failing. 

27. My body — your body — they aren’t trends. From Kate Moss to Kim Kardashian, they’ve all represented what’s considered sexy, and their body types are vastly different. 

28. Compromising core beliefs to please others only leads to regret.

29. We all are worthy of love, kindness, happiness, respect, safety, and respect. 

As I blow out the candles on my birthday cake, I wish you to know this: You are enough as you are. You aren’t too much. You’re not too loud. And you’re not broken.

Happy birthday to me, and happy birthday to you.

Featured image via Matheus Bertelli on Pexels