Growing up, I was always fascinated by makeup. I would steal my mom’s makeup and put it on when I didn’t think she was paying attention. I would ask to wear it for special occasions, even when it was just a family function.
When I was young, I would pick up the mascara brush, put it on, and get excited. I was allowed to start officially wearing it in 9th grade. I was allowed mascara, blush, and foundation. Slowly, I snuck in bottom eyeliner and eye shadow, which eventually became liquid eyeliner and under-eye concealer. The next thing I knew, I was wearing a full face of makeup every day to school.
As I got older, I cut back on the makeup.
I could never find a mascara that I liked or one that worked well with me, so I switched to lash extensions. I started to cut back on the eye shadow as I realized how crazy the gold shade looked on my eyes. Then, I stopped with the liquid liner on my top lid because I realized how small it made my eyes look.
Suddenly, I was just wearing mascara with some foundation and blush, and even that can be pushing it some days. My makeup bag went from sitting in my room on my dresser to sleeping in my car. Now, it lives in the backseat.
I went from loving makeup and using it as a therapeutic activity to not wanting to put it on. I don’t wear makeup most days now. Before, I would sit and put it on in the parking lot at work. Sometimes, I still do, but most of the time, I don’t even bother.
Since then, I have started to learn how to love my natural beauty.
I look at myself in the mirror and genuinely think, “Holy crap, I am so pretty.” Do you know how long it took for me to have that naturally be my first thought about myself?
All this time, I was hiding behind makeup to cover features that were always naturally there. We’re supposed to use makeup to enhance our natural beauty; we don’t need to cover it. We shouldn’t feel like we have to cover our undereye circles or anything else on our faces.
You were born with the marks and features on your face because the world was meant to see them.
And it’s something that I’ve been trying to embrace.
Don’t get me wrong. I still wear makeup. You’ll find me with a full face with highlighter and bronzer and some fancy contouring, but it’s because I want to wear the makeup. I want to feel a little shimmery and sparkly sometimes. I don’t need to wear it to feel beautiful. Instead, I wear it because I want to.
And there’s a big difference there.
My god, learning this lesson is liberating!
So now, when people meet me for the first time, they get my authentic version. Sometimes, the version they see is a little more glammed up than the other, which is completely ok. But I focus on my natural beauty.
Embrace who you are with all your scars, flaws, and everything else. I promise you are beautiful just as you are.
Featured image via Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels
