Relationships are like any other road; sometimes, they are smooth and flat, but sometimes, they are long and bumpy.
When you ask God to give you love, He’ll give you an opportunity to love. We got through that smooth and flat road and left me when it was long and bumpy. I know you tried; you did your best to get through it. We entered that road with the hope of getting through that. So we did; we took the step to join the road. It was tough, and even though we were going down the same road, we walked on different paths. Your pain was different than mine, and no matter how much I try to ease that pain, I cannot. I wanted to cheer you up, but it didn’t work, and I realize that only you can relieve that pain.
I was carrying my own pain, too, but I thought it would be worth it as long as I had you next to me.
A few moments later, the road got dark. There was no light, no sun to see how far we’ve come or how much longer we still have to go through. It was dark, and I still wanted to hold your hand and support you until the sun got up again.
You were reaching for mine, but it was too dark to see me. I know you tried reaching out to me as I did for you. I know it was so dark, but I continued reaching out to you, hoping you’ll hear me and find me someday, too.
Yet, the sun rose up, and I was there alone.
I looked for you, and you were nowhere to be found. I went back to the smooth and flat road, but it wasn’t the same and as fun. Then I looked up and realized that you chose a different road adjacent to mine; you chose to go through it alone. Pulling yourself up to get through that road. It is not wrong, and I’m proud you must go through it alone. For so long, you haven’t, and if that doesn’t include me on your side, then that’s okay. You have your own road and bumps that you need to get through. And I will always support you on that– even without me on your side.
When you got through that long, bumpy road, you finally saw me, and I was way behind. It was a different version of myself, with scars and no rope to climb. You tried to help me by handing me a rope, but it was too short for me to hold out. I whispered, “I did this to myself, and I need to get through this alone as he did. I’m just happy he got to where he should be”. Yet in my mind, “I wish I was by his side.” I tried– I took my time, and the scars got deeper, but I still pushed through it until I finally reached the border. The next thing that I knew, I did. I was eager to see you and tell you everything I’ve been through. I searched for you, but time has passed, and you were gone.
Featured image via Christopher Alvarenga on Unsplash
