This week, I chatted with a few friends. Though the conversation was mostly about our current interests and upcoming plans, I noticed a common thread in the conversation. We all feel either a need to conform or a desire to stand out (or both!)
I remember learning about conformity in high school. I learned that it’s basically like having a herd mentality — whenever a group of people decide on a specific trend, others feel a need to follow it too. Many people find comfort in conformity because they want to associate with a wider group.
Since childhood, I knew that this was the case. People around me pushed me to follow their favorite trends and pick up their interests. Whether they pressured me to listen to K-pop or rap music or to wear the latest styles, the message was clear: “You either do what we like, or you’re not cool.”
Despite the temptation some people feel to conform, I always chose to be myself, even if it meant that others wouldn’t accept me. I listened to the music that I liked and picked up hobbies that I enjoyed. But because my favorite things weren’t always “popular,” others made fun of me.
However, nowadays, people no longer seem to want to completely conform. Some people want to show how different they are from the rest of the crowd.
I always see and hear my peers telling me; “Oh I like to watch movies just for the storyline, not because they’re popular.” Or “I’m different from other people because I have more skills than they do.”
Although society tells us that being different is a positive thing, sometimes clinging to “difference” is just about portraying a certain image.
As human beings, we want to be “special” in order to amplify our self-image. We want to stand out just enough that others will think that we’re “cool.”
But if we care so much about what others think of us, we can never grow as people.
To an extent, our environment and peers shape our interests and preferences. We feel the need to cater to others just so that they can accept us for who we are. But when we focus so much on other people, it becomes difficult for us to truly focus on who we want to become.
Our society values conformity — and standing out only in “acceptable” ways. But break that mold, do what you want, and watch the growth happen. You’ll love the person who you’ll become!
Featured Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash.
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I find it interesting how the desire to either conform or stand out is such a powerful influence on our identities, and how, in trying to balance these desires, we often lose sight of our true selves and what we genuinely enjoy.