I remember the excitement when I met people who entered my life. I wanted to know more about them, ask about them and their interests and passions.
We would then slowly talk more about each other. We would talk about our careers and goals. Then, we would slowly form a bond.
After that, we would experience some of the joys of friendship. We might have gone on a few trips with each other, tried a few restaurants, or watched some movies. Looking back, those times seem almost too perfect to be true.
Friendship allows you to learn more about the other person.
You get to see their strengths, weaknesses, needs. You also learn more about each other’s lifestyle and preferences, including hobbies, interests, or other activities.
You get a glimpse into the other person’s life. They get to introduce you to what they like, and you get to introduce them to what you like.
However, the reality is that many people don’t turn out the way they present themselves to be. And I’ve learned this the hard way.
I remember being friends with a couple of people from elementary and high school. We would eat lunch and go to classes together, and I hate to admit it, but we gossiped with each other. They were good people at first. But we quickly drifted apart.
Stress, personal interests, and other factors got in the way. Plus, our lifestyles have changed. It seemed we were on different wavelengths, making it difficult for us to relate to each other. Conversations became difficult because we didn’t know what to talk about.
When I made a few more friends later on, I realized they all were just merely presenting an image of themselves.
They seemed like cool people at first, unique and understanding towards different situations. But they soon turned out to be quite the opposite – people who only pushed their own agenda.
Some of them only wanted to forge a friendship for their own interest. They either had something going on in their personal lives or wanted me to fill in a void.
Maintaining these friendships became challenging over time. I felt like I was living for them instead of just living for myself. I felt like their doormat, something they could step on. And I felt as if they wanted me to be a mirrored version of them — a version that didn’t fit with my values and goals.
And perhaps that’s why I push people away. There’s just no excitement anymore, especially if they’re not the person they initially claimed to be.
Featured image via Pavel Danilyuk on Pexels
