I don’t know why, but everywhere I go, I find so many people competing with me. It can be anyone from my work colleague or best friend to someone I met at an event.
I remember being a close friend to someone who always looked to compete with me. When I wanted to ask for more work at my internship, this individual would often do the same thing. Other times, when I decided to write or publish articles, the person would respond by writing and publishing them on their personal page.
And this person never seemed to congratulate me when I succeeded at something. I constantly felt underappreciated; my friend clearly didn’t see my accomplishments and skills.
The same thing would often occur at work. Some of my colleagues would constantly compare themselves to me; they would see what I wasn’t too good at and tell our supervisors they could do it better.
Whenever I see this behavior, I feel frustrated. I should be empowered and encouraged to improve as an employee and a friend. However, my efforts and skills are often disregarded when I feel that someone is trying to compete with me. And instead, it’s mainly about that other person trying to take over the spotlight.
I get that, as humans, we are all wired to compete at some point in our lives.
It also doesn’t help that our society is structured as a competition. Whenever I look around, I see that everything is quantified: money, assets, age, followers, and school grades. Because of these numbers, we always feel the need to aim higher.
Think of the grades you get at school. What happens when someone obtains a higher grade than you? You then need to compete with that person to obtain a better grade than them.
Now, think of the job you want to obtain. When someone is making more money than you and is working a similar job, you often feel the need to be somewhat like them. You want to work a similar job that pays just as well, if not better.
We tend to rely on these metrics to measure our success in life. And when competing with others, many of us rely on such numbers. We always wonder, “Why does this person make more money than me?” Or “Why is this person further ahead in their career than mine?”
However, these numbers are often deceiving.
We don’t realize that multiple factors come into play. Your classmate perhaps got better marks because they were able to afford a tutor for school. The person on social media perhaps got a promotion just because they knew the manager personally. But we seem to forget about these factors, as they’re rarely mentioned whenever we hear success stories.
So, is it fair to compare yourself to other people?
What if your values are different from what society wants? And what if your values are vastly different from the traditional societal values? It then makes it difficult to quantify your own success.
After a while, we’ll perhaps realize there’s no point in competition. Many people are at different avenues of their lives, and the decisions they make are a reflection of their own values. Not everyone will have the same values, so is it fair to compare?
Whenever I see these people around me competing with others, I ask them why they actually want to be better than the other person. Instead of trying to compare, they may just need to focus on their lives and ask themselves what they truly want. In that way, they can be more supportive towards others. And learn that not everyone will choose the same path.
Featured image via Yan Krukau on Pexels
