When I was in my early 20s, I often thought about what my life would look like in my 30s and beyond. I assumed I would graduate from undergrad, walk right into a full-time job, marry my college boyfriend, and be as happy as can be. I wanted it all, and I assumed that everything that I wanted would all be mine. I thought that all I had to do was fit in the missing puzzle pieces of a “generic life” to achieve success and happiness. Unfortunately, though, I was wrong.
What I failed to realize at 22 is that you can’t expect to put yourself together with pieces that don’t fit who you are. Life isn’t one-size-fits-all, and there isn’t a specific formula that we can all use to find success. Just because everyone around you achieves certain milestones doesn’t mean that you should do the same. After all, if we all were meant to achieve the same goals on the same timeline, life would be awfully boring.
That’s why you have to figure out what’s missing from your puzzle to find your path to success.
Success is embracing imperfection.
Success doesn’t mean that your life is as picture-perfect as what you see on your friends’ social media. Your life isn’t a highly-edited fifteen-second TikTok. Life is messy. It’ll always be messy. Oftentimes, your life circumstances will be out of your control, and the sooner you accept this, the sooner you can find peace. Think of all of the times that your life didn’t go the way that you planned it. How often did these unplanned changes ultimately make your life better than you could’ve hoped?
Success is being OK with being alone.
It’s difficult to feel at peace with being alone. Society tells us that being in a relationship is one of the pinnacles of success. We believe that if we have romantic partners, then we’re attractive, interesting, and likable. If we don’t, then others often make us feel like something’s “wrong” with us or that we’re unlovable.
You aren’t unlovable because you’re single. There’s more to life than being in a relationship. The only person you’re guaranteed to have is yourself, so nurture your relationship with yourself first. A significant other can certainly complement your life, but they’ll never complete it. You are always complete on your own.
Success is acceptance.
It’s easy to feel like you’re a failure when your life takes a detour. Maybe you’re not as financially stable as you hoped that you’d be by now. Maybe you’re still living with your parents instead of owning your dream home. But maybe those arbitrary milestones aren’t as important as you think.
Life is incredibly difficult, and it doesn’t always give you what you want. Sometimes you’ll fight hard to get ahead but still not meet your goal. Does that mean that you’re a failure? Absolutely not. Does that mean that you should stop trying and resign yourself to feeling “unsuccessful?”
Never.
Life will continue to ebb and flow, and the sooner you accept it, the sooner you will be able to enjoy your life for what it is. You don’t have to check off every goal to be happy. You can recognize the fact that you fought for what you wanted, and even if it didn’t work out, you tried your hardest. Be proud of yourself for trying. After all, not meeting one goal doesn’t mean that you’ll never achieve any goals. In time, you’ll achieve everything that is meant for you.
Sometimes what we want and what we need are incredibly different. Life will always give you what you need and steer you away from what’s not meant for you.
Success is waking up each day.
Waking up each day means that you’re one step closer to becoming who you want to be. You made it through another day that you thought you’d never survive, and that’s truly something to be proud of. Surviving your worst times is the ultimate proof of success — it shows how unstoppable you are. Maybe you won’t always feel happy when you wake, but you’re still alive, which means you still have a chance for life to get better.
Success isn’t any of the milestones that society imposed on us. It’s trying our hardest, recognizing that we can meet goals on our own time, and waking up each day to continue fighting.
Featured Photo by Semina Psichogiopoulou on Unsplash.
