I’m sure at one point or another, we’ve all been in a situation where someone asks a question that makes us uncomfortable. It could be about work, social life, or love life. And sometimes, it’s not even about the topic itself. Sometimes, you just don’t want to discuss it with that person. You might have a reason or just want to keep it to yourself.
So you decide not to answer. But then, you’re met with that awkward silence, a stare, or worse, a follow-up text with nothing but “??” like you’re obligated to explain yourself. You freeze. Do you try to come up with something that doesn’t make sense? Do you end up blurting out the very thing you were trying to avoid? It’s a lose-lose situation, and honestly, it sucks.
You may try to change the topic. You throw out something random like, “Hey, did you see that new show on Netflix?” hoping they’ll take the hint. But nope, they double down. They keep pushing, and suddenly, you’re the one who’s made to feel rude for not answering their question — when, hello, they’re the ones overstepping.
Here’s the thing: you don’t owe anyone an answer. Period.
It doesn’t matter who they are, how close you are to them, or how “harmless” their question seems. If you don’t want to talk about something, you don’t have to — end of story. This is about setting boundaries and taking control of your interactions.
Taylor Swift said it perfectly in her song “Dear Reader”: “You don’t have to answer just ’cause they asked you.” That one line sums it up so well. Just because someone asks doesn’t mean you’re required to respond. It’s not your job to satisfy someone else’s curiosity at the expense of your comfort.
For some reason, not answering a question is considered rude or dismissive. But why? Why should we feel pressured to explain ourselves just because someone’s asking?
It’s not about being rude — it’s about setting boundaries and protecting your peace.
I think part of the problem is how we’re taught to handle situations like this. We’re told to be polite, avoid conflict, and keep the peace. But being polite shouldn’t mean sacrificing your comfort or peace of mind. There’s nothing wrong with saying, “I’d rather not talk about that,” or even just not answering at all.
Sometimes, silence says everything that needs to be said.
Now, I get it — this is easier said than done. When someone asks you something, there’s pressure. You start overthinking: “What will they think if I don’t answer? Will they think I’m hiding something? Will they get mad?” But here’s the deal: if they get mad, that’s on them, not you.
Their reaction to your lack of answer is not your problem. Protecting your peace isn’t about them but about you.
So, the next time you’re in this situation, take a second. Remind yourself that you don’t have to explain or apologize. You don’t need to make excuses or justify your decision. Your life, your rules. And it says more about them than it does about you if someone can’t respect that.
At the end of the day, you have every right to keep certain parts of your life private. You’re not being rude or difficult by choosing not to answer — you’re just setting boundaries. The people who truly respect you will get that. The ones who don’t? Maybe it’s time to stop worrying so much about what they think.
Because really, it’s not about them. It’s about knowing that you don’t owe anyone an answer. And that’s not being rude — it’s just standing up for yourself and liberating yourself from societal expectations.
Featured image via Joseph Young on Unsplash
