You walk into your favorite bar, restaurant, or patch of grass in the park. And WHOOP. There it is. Your ex walks by with his new arm candy…just when you thought sacrificing your social life temporarily had worked. It couldn’t have happened like it does in the movies. You couldn’t have left it on mutual, friendly grounds. You couldn’t have just run into each other at a party or on campus with the generic, “OMG what are you doing here?!” response. You just had to see him with another girl first. Let the sheer panic attack begin at the thought of him getting over you that quickly. How is that even possible?! (He’s a lunatic. That’s how that’s possible.)
At first you may have no idea how to act or what to say if that awkward moment comes along where you think you might have to say something or wave in that direction. Don’t judge, okay? Everyone handles seeing their ex for the first time pretty differently (depending on what kind of terms you parted with). But here’s how we see that first interaction, distant or personal, post-breakup style.
1. This is really happening. Why is this happening?! I’ll be ok.
2. What a jerk. He knew I would be here.
3. Where did he find her? Who is she? I NEED TO KNOW.
4. But good for him. He deserves to be happy too…I guess.
5. She’s not even pretty though.
6. Her eyebrows are way too far apart. And she has a big nose.
7. I want to stab my eyes out right now. Or him. That would work too.
8. I need to leave ASAP. But I have no excuse for leaving other than his presence.
9. Does he really even like her, or did he just show up to make me jealous?
10. Since when does he come here anyway? He hated this place when we dated.
11. That’s dumb. He’s dumb. She’s dumb. EVERYBODY’S DUMB.
12. Well. Maybe she isn’t that ugly. She has nice hair.
13. Wait a minute. No, I’m still mad.
14. I hate him. I’m so over it. I promise I hate him.
15. His hair looks so good like that.
16. Is that the shirt I bought him for his birthday?
17. Wait, he’s looking over here. Be calm.
18. Should I wave? Or give them the death stare?
19. No. Play it off. Act like they aren’t here. Be cool.
20. He just ruined this place for me. This is my turf bitch.
21. I might feel sorry for her actually…He’s just dating her for her butt.
22. She can get her hands off of him now…Who does that in public?!
23. Oh hey…tall, dark, and handsome in the corner.
24. He’s like gold compared to them…they’re mediocre at best.
25. No… I’ll look too desperate.
26. Chill out…casual happiness bro. Casual happiness.
27. Even if he is on my mind, I’m better off now.
28. He can be happy. He’s an ass, but he can be happy.
29. Can someone buy me a shot?
30. Or like maybe 10?
All it really takes is a run-in at a Chipotle or the food court to realize that even your huge college just turned into a small town when your ex catches you on a particularly pathetic night while you’re wearing his dirty sweatpants all while shoveling a burrito bowl overflowing with extra guac into your mouth. You can’t control what you look like, or what you’re doing when you run into your ex for the first time after a breakup, but you can control what you say, as long as you keep the conversation short, sweet, and to the point.
Featured image via Lad Fury on Pexels
