So many of us have fallen in love with someone who enjoys acting like they want to be with us but doesn’t want a “relationship” label. It’s a tale as old as time, but unfortunately the “almost relationship” trend is still going strong.
For most people, an almost relationship mirrors a typical romantic relationship but lacks a title and the security that comes with a steady partnership. Almost relationships often leave one half of the “almost couple” feeling emotionally drained and mentally manipulated. This person often wonders when their “almost partner” will finally take things to the next level and questions why they aren’t good enough for a real relationship. Meanwhile, the other partner enjoys their freedom and has no intention of ever committing to a full relationship.
But here’s the thing: Women should stop settling for almost relationships.
If you love someone, don’t be their friend. Don’t become the girl he or she runs to when they need comfort, a shoulder to cry, on or someone to have sex with. Don’t be the girl who eagerly awaits that message that never comes or desperately sits next to them at a party to try to get their attention. We all love attention and feeling connected to a potential partner.
But you should stop settling now.
I’ve been in your shoes, walking down the same confusing path. In fact, I was once the girl who jumped at any opportunity to grab his attention and stay in his life. I hid parts of myself, hoping that he would like me and finally commit to a relationship, but it never happened. You may think that you’ll be the one he commits to, but every situation is the same. So don’t be the girl so many of us are, the girl who fights for his love without his commitment..
You should never compromise your identity, your worth, or your standards for a shitty, heartless person.
Why do you continue to trust someone who toys with your emotions and doesn’t even care how you feel? How can you even look them in the eye? And how can you tell your best friends that you love this person when they treat you like shit?
I know you believe that you’re madly in love and no one can change your mind. But believe me: You shouldn’t try so hard to love someone who doesn’t love you now and likely never will. You’re worthy of so much more than an almost relationship. You deserve the kind of love that makes you feel like you’re in a romance novel.
You don’t have to be the girl who settles for an emotionally unavailable man anymore.
Be the girl who doesn’t wait by her phone for a text or a snap. Don’t be the girl who cancels her plans to spend next to no time with someone who only wants a quick fix. Say no to his advances, even though it’s a chance to see him.
You will regain the power and confidence that you once lost, even if gaining it back feels extremely difficult. Your friends will understand what you’re going through, so lean on them for support. I promise that your dull days full of heartache and loneliness will end once you’ve mourned the loss of your failed relationship attempts. So stop settling and start living again. Reach for the stars, girl! I believe in you.
Feature Image by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
This article was a hard pill to swallow, I’m 25 and unfortunately in a FWB with a 21 year old sometimes I feel like we are connected, but other times not. I have never been in a relationship it’s like I keep finding myself in these “almost relationships” because I don’t want to lose that connection with them. I hope that they would eventually want something more. Like this article says I find myself waiting for his text and snaps, wondering if he’s thinking about me. It’s confusing because I’ve met his family and his friends, but he tells me he’s doesn’t have the attention span for fully committed relationship. I find it really hard to let go.
Hey! I totally understand where you are coming from and how difficult it is when you think the potential is there. Sometimes by walking away it’ll make them realize that they really do need you in their life. If not, it only shows strength and that you are strong enough to get what you deserve. Good luck and remember that everybody has gone through this tough decision too.