Welcome to “Ask Ada,” a weekly series in which we answer all those burning questions you’d rather not share aloud. Buckle up for some brutally honest advice! Today we explore how one woman is handling a sugar daddy while seeing someone new.
Can someone with an online sugar daddy start a new relationship, or should they wait until their digital agreement ends? If yes, should you tell your new partner about the agreement? And if so, when is best to have that conversation?
Signed,
Sugar
Hi Sugar,
You certainly can start a new relationship while you’re in another one. The question, though, is whether all parties involved are aware of the relationships and are onboard with the arrangement.
A lot of people think that cheating is just about sex, but it isn’t. It’s also a withdrawal of affection, attention, and finances towards something the partners haven’t agreed on. Depending on what arrangement you have in place, you might find that starting a new relationship while still being in another is more painful than letting the original relationship run its course before looking for love again.
Maybe your sugar daddy doesn’t want to share you. On the other hand, maybe he’s perfectly fine with your commitment to multiple relationships as long as you continue to fulfil your obligations.
Maybe your new flame doesn’t want to share your attention and emotional intimacy with another man. Maybe he’ll be fine with that if he gets to do the same.
What matters is consent and honesty.
If you’ve made an agreement with someone, you want to make sure that you both keep your ends of the bargain. That means that, if you and your sugar daddy are both OK with you starting a new relationship, you still need to tell your new partner about the arrangement. This way, they know exactly what they’re getting into.
Here are a few more things to ask yourself:
- Can you reasonably maintain both relationships so that you meet your needs and your partners’?
- Are you and your sugar daddy honest with his family about your relationship? If not, what makes you think that this will go differently for the other person?
- If you expect your new flame to accept your sugar daddy arrangement, would you be willing to accept him sleeping with other girls or becoming a sugar daddy himself?
- Are you willing to put in the work necessary to build and maintain trust in your relationships?
You may think that this all sounds like a lot of work, and you’re right. Relationships are hard work, which is why we need a lot of clarity before we invest ourselves in them. The worst thing you can possibly do is let someone invest themselves in a relationship with you only to discover later that they assumed you’re monogamous, but you aren’t.
Good luck,
Ada
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