The secret to dealing with toxic friends is that it can be highly draining, especially when it comes to your emotional and mental state. When looking at any relationship — especially long-term friendships — it may be difficult to determine whether someone is toxic or just a friend. How can you tell if someone is a toxic friend? Here are some red flags to look out for.
1. They’re more competitive than supportive.
When having small talk with your friend, it might seem friendly at first. However, it can quickly turn antagonistic and competitive. When having an everyday conversation with them, you might notice that they announce things to one-up you on, or try to end the conversation, but then bring it up later in another conversation. You might also notice how they always manage to find a way to brag about their accomplishments, especially when you mention your vulnerabilities. This is definitely a sign of a toxic friend.
2. You’re walking on eggshells around them.
If you feel like you have to watch what you say around your friend, they may not be someone who you can look to for support, despite what they may tell you.
Sure, friends will experience their ups and downs at times. But toxic friends will always find ways to cause issues within the friendship. They’ll always manage to overlook all the great characteristics your friendship has to offer, and focus on the negative ones instead. It‘s important to support your friends during their hardships, but make sure it doesn’t affect you negatively.
3. They never listen to your issues.
When your friend is going through a tough time, you’ll always be the first person they call. But when the roles switch, and you need someone to talk to, you can’t call them. They want you to be there for them, but when you need them, they’re no longer around. Having friends like that will leave you feeling more lonely and lost than ever.
4. They are quick to mention your imperfections.
Remember the saying “honesty is the best policy”? When it comes to any relationship, this is a crucial factor. However, such honesty quickly turns into judgment. You may find yourself powerless, feeling like you’re unable to speak to your friend. It may make you fear that they will point out everything imperfect about you instead of giving you the love and support you’re asking for.
5. They are not happy about your achievements.
Friends who don’t appreciate your accomplishments are friends who will hinder your growth. Individuals who truly care for you will be delighted when they see you achieve your goals. Friends should cheer each other on when they follow their dreams. After all, true friends support you no matter what. They always want to talk about themselves.
Toxic friends have the tendency to enjoy talking about themselves, and their accomplishments. You’ll hardly find them asking about you or your day, and at times, it will seem like you never cross their mind. Friends like this are toxic because they make you feel as if you don’t matter
6. They don’t care enough to stay in touch.
Life is difficult. It’s necessary to know that people may not call or speak to you although they care about you. While this is true, bonds can become weaker if no one makes an effort to reach out to one another. You find yourself being the only one to make an effort, and you might realize you’re the only one making the attempt to keep the friendship going.
If you notice most, if not all of these, qualities in a friend, then now is the time to reach out and discuss this with them. We have to solve disputes and keep our relationships alive especially during these uncertain times.
The key is to be respectful and support each other while trying to get your relationship to the best level possible. Sometimes two people might drift away from one another, but if you keep trying, you can get to where you want to be together
Even if they don’t believe your pure intentions, make sure to let them know that you are grateful for their companionship and friendship as well as all the times you went through and years to come.
Remember: Honesty is the best policy, especially if you mean it.
Featured image via Keira Burton on Pexels
Great article! I had people in my life who were just like this. They are nothing more than a waste of time. The article was very informative and some interesting reading!