Most of us have been there — going down on your partner and sitting there with nothing but your thoughts and your partner’s sensitive areas in your mouth. The first thing you should know about me is that I don’t take anything about sex seriously. If you cannot take a joke or handle me laughing and joking during sex, I am absolutely not for you. And neither is this article. But if you are like me and enjoy being a comedian with a mind that doesn’t stop in the bedroom (even for sex), then this article is for you! So, here are five thoughts I always have while going down on my partner.
1. “I hope this feels good.”
Honestly, my lack of experience in the bedroom could be appalling to some at my age — ripe ol’ 26. But I never got to enjoy a “hoe phase.” I am literally so bad at short-term or no-term relationships that I tried to have a one-night stand with someone once and ended up marrying him. To be fair, the sex was literally the best I’ve ever had, and after he finished, I looked at him and said he was stuck with me forever. All things aside, I am never sure whether or not they are enjoying themselves or just putting up with it because “why not?”
2. “Did they moan? I think they moaned.”
Moaning is generally a good indicator of pleasure during sex. At least, I like to think it is. So if my partner moans, I know I am doing a good job since they’re encouraging me to keep going. But if my partner isn’t moaning, I will absolutely get bored and demand that they fuck me instead. Honestly, if they do not appreciate the WORK I put into pleasing them, then they can just please me instead.
3. “Damn, my jaw hurts.”
Maybe I am the only one in the world with this problem, or maybe everyone else has this issue, but my jaw literally locks if I suck dick for any extended time. Like WHY?! Seriously, though: My jaw hurts, and while I do not want to take it out on my partner, I generally get lazy at this point. I will 100% power through, though, if they moan. That moan indicator dictates how this is going to play out.
4. “Let me look into his eyes.”
At some point in my life, I heard that looking into your partner’s eyes while going down on them is hot. Just a friendly reminder, though: Sometimes doing so can make you laugh. It’s fine, though. They can deal with me laughing since I am currently pleasing them in a very, very intimate way.
5. “Is he almost there? I’m getting tired.”
When I get to this point, I am generally straightforward with my partner and just communicate that I am no longer having a good time. My current partner can take a very, very long time to orgasm. And while I always try to make sure he hits his climax, both of our sexual energies can drain very quickly. So whoever is more dominant that day will get what they want (he either gets me to orgasm or I get him to orgasm). And if we are lucky, we both get one.
All things aside, sex should be fun for both you and your partner. The most important thing about sex is that you are both satisfied. And if your cup of tea is oral sex, go for it! Oral sex can be used for full pleasure or as foreplay. Just make sure you practice oral sex safely. Keep calm and suck on my friends.
Photo by Hendo Wang on Unsplash
