In a relationship, you don’t often think about the signs that you should break up with your partner, especially when you love them. But when you do, you can save yourself from an even more painful heartbreak.
Knowing when to break up and cut your losses gives you more time to heal and find the love you truly deserve.
Here are 10 ways to know when to break up and let go of your relationship;
1. Your partner is doesn’t respect you.
When you and your partner lose respect for one another, your relationship is sure to fail. You may start criticizing one another with comments like, “You never help me!” or “You always ignore me!”
These words inflict pain because they tear you down and don’t focus on what you did. There is a huge difference between pointing out behavior that bothers you and attacking someone personally.
Healthy couples have disagreements, but they discuss them without demeaning each other. When you have barely any respect for each other, your partnership is in real trouble.
2. Your partner easily gets defensive.
When your partner is defensive, you may quickly become wary of addressing them.
That type of exchange won’t help move your relationship to a better place. Each time you respond to hurtful comments with a counter-attack, your relationship will sail into even rougher waters.
Instead of a having nasty exchange, a healthy partner will highlight their feelings and point out behaviors without jumping into blaming their other half.
3. You and your partner feel superior to each other.
When you feel like you’re smarter or more important than your partner, you’re more likely to mock them, put them down, and dismiss their complaints and feelings. That’s a recipe for disaster.
For a healthy relationship to thrive, especially for the long haul, partners need to respect each other. They need to feel that they are better together than they are apart. Healthy relationships thrive when you both respect each other as true teammates.
4. You both often shut down.
When you voice a concern and your partner ignores you, walks out of the room, or starts checking their cell phone, how do you feel?
This type of behavior is called “stonewalling,” and it hurts. Research shows that after one partner stonewalls the other, both of their heart rates climb. People think less clearly when their hearts are racing, so you’re likely to exchange less considerate words after your partner stonewalls you. Stonewalling can greatly affect your mental health and is an emotional abuse tactic, so if your partner stonewalls you frequently, try to leave.
5. Your partner doesn’t meet your needs.
You have needs, and when your partner doesn’t meet them, then it’s a sign that you might not be the best match. These needs can be emotional, like wanting to spend quality time with your partner. They can also be logical or functional, like wanting your partner to be able to manage money efficiently.
When one partner feels that the other isn’t fulfilling their needs, then they need to communicate how they feel.
Unfulfilled needs become a problem when they turns into a pattern, even after you’ve explicitly stated what you need. If your partner isn’t willing to try harder to fulfill your needs, then it’s probably time to move on and find someone who will.
6. You feel an obligation to stay in the relationship.
Some people stay in long-term relationships because they don’t want to waste the time and effort that they already invested. However, staying out of obligation won’t help your relationship. In fact, it may even breed resentment between you and your partner.
Simply staying in a relationship with someone you love won’t fix the problems you have. Sometimes you just have to leave.
7. You compromise your values to make the relationship work.
Neither partner should lose who they are in their relationship. Before you and your partner are a couple, you’re individuals. If your partner asks you to go against your values because they don’t agree with them, then that’s a big red flag. Without our values, who are we?
8. You don’t want sex anymore.
While sex isn’t everything, it’s still an important part of many relationships. Couples that are in love often want to feel intimate with the other.
But if you no longer want to be physically intimate with your partner, it may be because you no longer enjoy being with them. In other words, something is wrong in the relationship — either physically or mentally.
If you haven’t had sex or been intimate in a long time, that’s a clear sign that your relationship isn’t going down the right path.
9. Your partner is abusive.
Abuse isn’t love. An abusive relationship is a clear sign that you need to break up— and do it as safely as possible. Reach out to friends and family to help you leave or seek professional help.
Letting go of someone you love, no matter how painful, is the best thing for both of you. Watch out for these warning signs that you should break up instead of make up with your partner.
Originally written by Janis Roszler on YourTango.
Featured Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash.
