You might have always dreamed of being the fun aunt and never wanted children. Or maybe you’ve always wanted children and couldn’t wait to have kids. Either way, you won’t really know if you want kids of your own until you spend time with a baby and wonder for yourself: Am I ready to have a baby?
Having a baby is a transformative event that requires a lot of responsibility. So you have to ensure that having one is something you’re ready for.
According to Clinical Hypnotherapist and Spiritual Life Coach Keya Murthy, you know you are ready to have a baby when you know you can create the time, space, and money for another human 100%.
“The biggest signs that you are ready to get pregnant is when you and your partner love each other, and you have a support structure,” she explains. You also have to be “financially stable with a healthy savings account and at least one steady source of income to keep up your lifestyle.”
On the other hand, the greatest sign you aren’t ready to have your baby is when you have the slightest doubt about caring for another human more than you care for yourself.
“When your baby arrives, your life seemingly goes out the window, and your needs are put to a halt because a newborn is here and is totally dependent on you,” Murthy says. “If you know you cannot be there for your child 100%, then do not have a baby.”
If you’re wondering when to have a baby, the ideal time most women want to get pregnant is between their late 20s and early 30s, according to their biological clock.
You might not ever feel completely ready to have a baby. But being in the right mindset and following all the correct steps before is essential for when the time actually comes, and you bring your child into the world.
So, am I ready to have a baby, you ask?
Before you start planning motherhood, ask yourself these questions to see if you’re ready or not to start a family.
1. How are your finances?
If you plan to have a baby, you will definitely need to learn how to manage and save money. It’s a huge investment as it takes a lot of supplies, clothes, diapers, food, and more to raise a child.
A 2017 report suggested that it costs over $200,000 to raise a child from birth to the age of 17.
You need to be ready to change your spending and saving habits to benefit a child, such as spending less on your wants and saving for your needs. You also need extra money to prepare for accidents and issues that might arise along the way.
How much money should I have saved before having a baby? Intuit Money Expert Kimmie Greene told CNBC that it’s a good idea to have at least a year’s salary saved before giving birth.
It’s a smart idea to imagine what your budget will look like. Then, start budgeting for that and start a small savings account.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You currently have disposable income each month after paying all your bills.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You don’t have a savings account.
2. Can you imagine not going out all the time or having time to yourself?
This is something you’ll lose if you’re having a baby. You’ll have to be okay with forgoing the fun activities you enjoyed doing. Not inevitably, but while raising your child in its early years.
You have to be willing to sacrifice nights out with the girls, fun trips to the movies, and going out to new and fancy restaurants with friends, family members, or your partner.
You’ll also have to largely sacrifice “me time,” like treating yourself to shopping, getting your nails done, going to a spa, or sitting in a coffee shop for hours.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You can imagine spending most of the time with your baby.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You can’t imagine changing your daily routine and social life.
3. Can you handle a temper tantrum?
Babies will cry at just about anything. And while you might meet a calm, cool, and collected baby, another one could be pouty, whiny, and angry. You never know what type of baby you’ll get, and if you can’t deal with crying, that’s a big red flag.
Babies have temper tantrums all the time. Kicking, screaming, and yelling are inevitable in a fussy baby. And if you don’t think you can handle that or if you thank your birth control whenever you see a crying child, then maybe you’re not quite ready.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: Crying babies don’t bother you.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You’re not ready to give up sleep to stop a baby from crying.
4. Are you okay with your plans being canceled unexpectedly?
If you’re the type to have laid plans out in advance, know that motherhood can throw your routine for a loop at any time.
Predictability isn’t something you can rely on when you have a baby, and you have to be comfortable with the chances that your plans will be canceled, no matter how many months in advance you might have planned.
If you find that you’re extremely frustrated when your friends cancel plans on you and will be annoyed about it for a while, then maybe you won’t be comfortable having to do that often.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You don’t mind canceling plans for the unexpected.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You don’t like changing plans on a whim.
5. Are you comfortable asking for help?
Not everyone can raise a baby on their own. If you’ve ever heard the saying, “It takes a village,” that’s because it really does. Between your parents, a close friend, and babysitters, you’ll need a lot of help while raising a baby.
You need to be comfortable asking for help because you won’t be able to do everything on your own, even if you do have the help of your partner as well. You’ll also need helpful support systems, doctors, and local resources.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You have no problem asking for help when you need it.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You aren’t comfortable with asking for help.
6. Does someone needing you give you the ick?
For lots of people, feeling needed by someone can feel unique and rewarding. However, some people get uncomfortable when they know someone constantly needs their help.
If you can’t stand when someone genuinely depends on you daily, that’s a red flag that you cannot commit to a baby. They will make you uncomfortable, and you won’t be able to give your newborn the needed time and attention.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You’re prepared for a child to require one hundred percent of your time and energy and are okay with it depending on and needing you.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You physically and mentally cannot stand a baby needing all your time and depending on you 100 percent of the time.
7. Does staying at home sound better than traveling?
Depending on your financial status, when you have a baby, extravagant or romantic trips become much more difficult. You will have to devote all your time and energy to your child. While family vacations are always an option, expect your downtime to look different than before.
You won’t have the luxury to pack up at a moment’s notice to go on a fun little vacation, as having a child is a serious ordeal and requires a lot of change to your lifestyle.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You are okay with not being able to travel all the time or at least for a while after having a baby.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You don’t want to sacrifice travel and the freedom to explore the world.
8. Does your body require a full night’s sleep?
If you have a baby, you know your sleep schedule will always be messed up.
You’ll never be able to depend on having your full 8 hours of sleep because your baby could interrupt that.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You will be willing to sacrifice your beloved sleep schedule and be sleep deprived sometimes.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You can’t function without a full 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
9. Are you and your current significant other having relationship problems?
This might be the most obvious sign that you’re not ready to have a baby, at least with your current partner. If you’re already having problems, then getting pregnant shouldn’t even be a thing that’s mentioned.
If the two of you have a hard time communicating, then there’s no way the two of you are ready to have a baby. You also should talk to your partner if you are interested in having a child and see if they are on the same page.
If you don’t want to have a baby but your partner does and vice versa, then that’s a major problem the two of you must work on.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You and your partner want to have a baby and are willing to go to relationship therapy and work out a good communication style.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You and your partner are on different pages, or the two of you are constantly arguing with each other.
10. Do you even like kids?
This should be an important question, and the answer should come very fast to mind if you actually enjoy the company of children.
If it’s an immediate no, then you probably shouldn’t have a child. But if it’s a yes, then you could consider having a baby.
You’ll also have to be comfortable with the presence of kids other than your own once your child gets old enough to go to preschool.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You love kids and can’t wait to have a child of your own.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You hate being around kids and find them a nuisance.
11. Do you think you’ll be able to share your space?
When you have a child, there are many different things you need to buy to entertain and calm them. You’ll have a lot of different furniture only meant for your baby, and its stuff will likely take up a lot of space.
You need to be willing to share your space with your baby and be comfortable with specific items and furniture in your house — not to mention the mess!
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You are willing to share your house with all of your baby’s needs.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: You aren’t willing to sacrifice your precious space.
12. Can you function without having some quiet time to yourself?
If you’re the type of person who needs some quiet time, then maybe it isn’t the best thing for you.
Having a kid takes a lot of time and dedication, and you must be willing to give up your alone time.
The biggest sign you’re ready to have a baby: You are comfortable with not having your alone time anymore as you feel prepared for kids.
The biggest sign you aren’t ready to have a baby: Your alone time is non-negotiable, and you can’t imagine not having that.
As you can see, there are many things you have to consider before having a baby. It’s important to remember that deciding to create a family is a big deal. So, only do it if you’re completely prepared for what’s to come.
Originally written by Megan Hatch on YourTango
Featured image via Monica Turlui on Pexels
