I’ve been in the dating business for two decades, giving relationship advice to clients, and during that time, I’ve seen my part in the industry evolve a few times. When I started the business, I was the guy who taught men how to meet women and find love.
I was the guy who was there for anyone suffering from nerves or a lack of social skills. I was the guy they turned to when they didn’t know how to talk to women.
Then, as time passed and I interviewed women about men, I realized so many of you struggle to understand how men think and feel.
Before long, I started to coach women and help them understand the simplicities of men and how we act in relationships.
Years have gone by, and I’d like to think I’m now wiser and smarter than I was when I started. Recently, I’ve embraced how important it is to surrender to life what it gives us and let go of unrealistic expectations.
Surrendering to life got me to where I am today, and learning to offer, even when I didn’t want to, is the key to my happiness.
I’m sure my daughter coming into my life made me realize this. See, to begin with, I felt having a child was taking away the freedom I thought I wanted.
Even when I’m free, I still think, “I’d rather be with my daughter, sharing my love and learning all the beautiful lessons she has for me.”
I surrendered to life’s path rather than concentrating on what I thought it had taken from me.
My daughter completely changed my life path, but she took me in a way that led to my ultimate happiness.
If I hadn’t surrendered to her, goodness knows where I’d be now.
Now, in life, I surrender 100 percent of the time. I offer to whatever opportunities come my way and whoever comes my way. I understand that life takes us on whatever path we’re meant to be on.
Even when it feels like you’re going the wrong way or you’re convinced your path is correct, life will ultimately give us what we’re meant to have.
This principle is the key to love and happiness and teaches us how important it is to surrender and let go when we know a relationship isn’t right for us.
Letting someone go is one of the hardest things we can do in relationships, but learning when enough is essential.
Have you ever tried to change a man you dated because he didn’t quite fit your idea of perfect?
How many of you have forced yourself to stay in a relationship that didn’t feel right because the guy was an ideal match for the fairytale you had in your head?
How often have you stuck with a man you knew wasn’t suitable?
And how often have you told yourself, “If I just give him time, he’ll change? If I treat him even better, he’ll love me more and won’t cheat again”?
How often do those relationships go the distance?
He still acts the same, gives you the same excuses, and the relationship still feels as bad as it always has.
Still, you stick with him because you’re confident your fairytale will come true. Instead, it would be best if you surrendered to the fact you’ll never be right together.
You must learn to let go of the fairytales you have in your head when you know it isn’t right for you.
And trying to change someone to turn them into the man you want them to be is another hazardous thing to do. Surrender to life telling you they’re not suitable for you, and move on.
Ending a relationship that isn’t working is hard. You have invested time and emotions into someone and don’t want to accept that it’s time to say goodbye.
You’re so attached to this fairytale in your head, and you can’t stand the thought of it being over. You’re convinced he’s the one. And you’re even prepared to ignore your powerful female instinct.
I’ve coached women stuck in relationships for ten years with men who weren’t right for them, and I’ve coached women who stayed in bad relationships for ten months.
The result is always the same. These women always say, “If only I’d have left him before, I wouldn’t be in such a mess now. If I’d have ended it sooner, I wouldn’t have to pick up so many pieces.”
Life brings us the people we need precisely when we need them. Some people are there to teach us painful lessons, and others to teach us nicer lessons. The key to love is learning when to surrender.
The minute you learn to surrender when a relationship isn’t working is the moment you free yourself forever. The moment you know to submit to life is when you open up to happiness and find the real Prince Charming to make your fairytale come true.
Originally written by David Wygant on YourTango
Featured image via Polina Tankilevitch on Pexels
