When the last week of August began, I was training for a job I picked up that involved running an after-school program. And throughout that training, I learned plenty of new skills.
However, one thing I also noticed was our tendency to focus on the negatives.
This topic came up when I told a girl with whom I recently started a new program at a new university. She asked me what made me make the career jump, and I told her that I wanted to study something new to gain more skills.
However, she told me that none of her friends, who graduated from my program, found jobs.
As soon as I heard this, I saw the realism in her statement. The job market is terrible, as companies continue to lay off their employees. Some of these even include big corporations, such as Google or Amazon.
But the more I conversed with her, the more I realized how negative she was in general. She continually tried to point out the disadvantages of my decision.
Unfortunately, this girl is not the only one who perceives others in this manner.
In high school, bullies would constantly judge a person and never seem to look at the positive traits. Regardless of how talented, intelligent, or sociable someone was, the bully continued to look at their negative traits and judged them based on them.
While realizing this, I asked myself why others are so negative instead of positive, looking at every situation pessimistically. But the answer is more complex. When a child grows up in a negative environment, for example, they often learn to adopt such mannerisms and speech.
However, some people exhibit negative behavior because of other underlying factors, such as low self-esteem and insecurity. This bears similarity to the German concept of schadenfreude, a feeling of enjoyment through the trouble of others. So, when some people view themselves poorly, they may perceive every situation negatively to make themselves feel better.
But if we keep looking at everyone from a negative perspective, we can never assess the good in any situation.
When we focus on someone’s weaknesses over their strengths, we mentally drain and tire ourselves out.
The more pessimistic we are about others, the more pessimistic we will feel about the world. When we constantly observe the negative, we’ll run into the mindset of only paying attention to the negative. Plus, being hostile to others serves only as a temporary solution to the problem. It won’t change a pessimist’s thinking pattern but rather lead to more insecurity.
So to break this habit of negativity, we need to recognize and challenge our thoughts. We need to ask ourselves why we feel this way and why our first instinct is always negative. Moreover, we should surround ourselves with people who will lift us. Positiveness will allow us to focus on the present and tackle whatever situation happens.
When we view others in a more positive manner, we’ll see the world differently. Instead of problems, we’ll focus on solutions. And instead of setbacks, we’ll concentrate on paths. After all, we need to remember that life constantly changes, and that’s the beauty of it.
Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash
