Every time I scroll through my timeline, someone’s in a new relationship, pregnant, engaged, or the recipient of a significant other’s beautiful, grand gesture. It’s so incredible to see all of these people in such happy relationships, but at the same time, some people feel green with envy.
After seeing some of the things that boyfriends do for their girlfriends, many of us start to compare our own relationships to the ones we see on social media. We tell ourselves, “I wish my boyfriend would propose already,” “I wish my boyfriend would do something creative for me,” and “My boyfriend doesn’t do this. He must not love me.”
While it’s never bad to have high expectations for your relationships and to know that you deserve all of the finer things in life, it’s just as important to understand the ways that social media may place unrealistic expectations on you, your partner, and your entire relationship.
The pressure to show off your relationship on social media can make you feel jealous as you compare it to others.’ But not only is this constant onslaught of jealousy not beneficial to you — your relationship likely also suffers from the constant comparison. Complaining about your partner not doing what you see all your friends’ partners doing for them can make your significant other feel like you don’t value their effort.
These types of feelings end a lot of relationships before the best moments can happen.
Appreciating everything that your partner can do for you and understanding that there are some things that their financial situation may not permit them to do is the best way for both of you to remain happy, satisfied, and strong in your relationship.
Seeing others get engaged and married is another way that social media exaggerates relationships. People share some of their most special moments on Instagram, but it’s hard not to want to take that step after congratulating “everyone” on their engagements and marriages.
The truth is that “everyone” is not accepting proposals and marrying.
It simply seems that way because engagements and marriages are some of the top events that people share on social media.
Even someone who hasn’t posted a photograph in three years will rush to Instagram to share photos of their engagement ring. When you see these huge relationship milestones and start pouting about the fact that your partner never even brought up proposing yet, you might need to take a step back and reflect on whether you’re actually ready to take that step.
Is now even an appropriate time to think about marriage? Are you really ready to get married, or do you just want to be able to join the wedding-prepping couples on social media?
Rushing your partner (and yourself) into such an important commitment before you’re ready can end in complete chaos.
It’s perfectly fine to watch others share their moments of bliss and joy and wait for your own turn.
It’s normal to want a deep connection, sweet tokens of appreciation from your partner, and a mutual desire to move your relationship forward. In fact, these things can all be part of healthy relationships. At the end of the day, though, wrap yourself up in all of the ways that others seem to have “better” relationships than you do when yours is pretty great too.
Social media isn’t real life, so don’t let what you see on social media ruin your relationship with your partner. Live in the moment, enjoy the good times, and appreciate everything your partner brings to your life.
Originally written by Sarah Jones-Smith on YourTango.
Featured photo by Fabian Centeno on Unsplash.
