I’m Allowed To Share My Side Of The Story

I was on Facebook recently, and I saw this post: 

“a little reminder

You are allowed

to talk about

what they did to you

and how it hurt you

it does not matter

how they feel

about you talking about it

because if they wanted people

to think better of them

they should have been better.

— aliza grace”

I fell in love with this short poem because it resonated with me. I’m a relatively reserved person. I usually do what I can to avoid conflict. When it does happen, I keep the information to myself and do not tell many others. People don’t usually hear my side of the story because I choose not to disclose it.

But recently I’ve realized that I don’t have to keep the situation to myself. While I may not go after the person who created the conflict, that doesn’t mean that I don’t share my side of the story. Sure,  I don’t usually share it with every single person I know, but I’ve stopped being quiet about it. If someone asks me how I am or if I’ve seen someone I had a conflict with, I might mention what is happening. 

I used to avoid sharing anything about it because I didn’t want to cause drama. 

I also didn’t want people to see these individuals in a different light, especially if they are known for being a good person. .

 But now I’ve realized that these individuals choose to make the decisions that they’ve made. They chose to act a certain way towards me. And if that paints them in a poor light, that’s on them — it has nothing to do with me. 

If someone acts cruelly towards you, that’s not something that happened overnight. That’s something that they’ve always had within themselves. They just chose to share it with you at that particular moment, for whatever reason. And you’re now seeing their true colors. 

It has nothing to do with you — it’s on them and how they choose to react.

I’ve noticed that it’s best to remain quiet in a conflict. That way, they can’t use anything against you later.

You get mad at me and decide to berate me and call me names? When I tell people what you said, they will think of you differently because you’re acting differently and out of line. 

You decide to go psycho on someone and scream in their face over something? Yeah, you’re going to make yourself look and seem as if you are a psycho.

But if I sit back, stay quiet, and watch you stumble and make a fool of yourself, that’s on you. I’m seen as being neutral. I didn’t do anything. You did. You chose to take those actions. No one twisted your arm backward to make you say or do anything.

And if you do something to me that makes me feel a certain way, I’m allowed to share it and express it in any way I choose to. You took an action that affected me. I’m allowed to share my side of the story with whoever I choose. 

If something happens to you, it’s your story, and you’re free to share it. And it goes the same for the other side of the equation. 

It’s like when you ask someone something knowing they’re lying, so you say, “Okay” and stare at them without saying anything else. Suddenly, this person will begin to babble, and you’ll find all you need. 

You didn’t ask them to say anything else — they chose to. 

People don’t like silence because it makes them uncomfortable. They don’t know what to do with it so they try to fill the space with noise and chatter. Sometimes it’s useful; sometimes it’s not. When it’s the latter, you watch the person put their foot in their mouth. Hey. I didn’t tell you to say anything. You’re responsible for your own choices. 

I’ve learned that sharing my story isn’t about seeking validation from others. It’s about acknowledging my feelings and experiences. 

It’s a way of affirming to myself that my perspective matters. By expressing what happened and how it affected me, I’m not only shedding light on the truth but also setting boundaries and protecting my mental well-being. This change in mindset has allowed me to navigate conflicts more clearly and confidently.

We reclaim our narrative and empower ourselves by embracing the right to share our experiences. It’s not about revenge or causing unnecessary drama; it’s about recognizing that our feelings and experiences are valid. Speaking up allows us to heal and helps others understand the impact of their actions. Silence may be powerful, but so is our voice. By telling our side of the story, we hold people accountable for their actions and remind ourselves we deserve respect and understanding. It’s a journey of self-empowerment, growth, and, ultimately, finding peace in our truth.

Featured image via Laura Lefurgey-Smith on Unsplash