Before I had my first happy ending, I hated when things ended. I hate goodbyes, farewells, or even “see you laters”.
Maybe this is because I want some stability in my life. After all, it’s difficult ending one chapter and opening up another. Or maybe it’s because I’ve never experienced a happy ending in my life thus far.
It all started with middle school graduation. Everyone felt accomplished for finishing grade eight. I remember, during graduation, my classmates’ excitement to start high school.
But I never felt that way.
In fact, I felt dread, likely because I had a terrible eighth-grade experience. It didn’t help that I graduated without forming strong friend groups. So, the idea of high school and seeing more people terrified me.
Fast forward three years later, and I experienced high school graduation. I won no awards, only graduating with more terrible memories. At that point, I wanted to leave the graduation ceremony as early as possible. I didn’t want to take pictures or remember my high school experience.
After high school graduation, I got my first part-time job. Then, before I knew it, I had to juggle multiple tasks at once – work, school, family life, and more. I eventually had to leave and resign from a few jobs, but I constantly left my employers on bad terms. Heck, I even got terminated from a few jobs, which now affects the way I work.
All these experiences terrified me.
For one, it made me dread reference checks for new jobs. Worse than that, I realized my life had no happy endings at all. Every experience ended terribly for me. Instead of growing as a person, I felt I was only burning bridges between others.
For a while, I feared endings. Whenever I ended a job or relationship, I worried I was sacrificing my reputation because of past experiences.
However, things changed this summer.
I finally experienced a happy ending to a work term. Even though my internship stressed me out, full of ups and downs, I ended up learning a lot. In addition to the new skills I gained, the internship gave me a place to grow out of my comfort zone. I even ended things with my manager on good terms, finding better ways to work through disagreements and challenges.
This summer taught me that not all endings are sad and devastating. Some can lead to new directions and experiences. As long as you look back fondly, you’ll know that it was, indeed, a happy ending.
Photo by Christopher Campbell on Unsplash
