Life is a strange cycle. As you experience life, you learn to identify and cope with your emotions. But there’s one complicated emotional process no one teaches you how to live with: grief.
I know the grieving process well. I’ve had six friends pass away, and the first time I experienced a friend’s death, I was just 13 years old. Working through my grief is hard, especially because I also have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. Coping in healthy ways isn’t easy, but with my mental illnesses, it’s even more difficult.
There’s no step-by-step process for coping with grief. Everyone copes with their grief differently. Although some people cope in similar ways, their processes aren’t identical.
Writing is my number-one outlet for processing my grief. Writing allows me to emotionally release the events that feel too big to cope with. I mainly stick to writing freestyles or poetry, though sometimes I write short stories.
I also journal, but I don’t just share my emotions. My journal entries are letters to the people I love and care about, including the people in my life who have passed away. This writing style helps me stay connected to the people I lost.
One of my strongest coping skills for my grief is applying myself to whatever I do. I’m a good employee, but when I feel my grief start to get heavy, I work even harder at my job. This attitude distracts me from my grief. Applying yourself to anything you care about can help you cope when you’re grieving a loss, and it may also have other positive results.
Distraction of any kind can also be a good coping mechanism for grief. At first, it may be hard to distract because your loss is all you can think about. But distracting yourself can keep your mind busy enough that grief no longer consumes you. Try a healthy distraction, like cleaning, reading, writing, cooking, or hanging out with friends or family. When you engage in activities that you enjoy, you usually focus on the task at hand instead of grieving.
Talking to the people you lost and honoring their memories can also help. You can write them letters, visit their graves, or watch old videos of them. Remembering the time you shared with your loved ones may help you process your grief a little more easily. Connecting with those you’ve lost also may bring you the peace you need to keep going.
Grief isn’t easy to cope with. Some days, it won’t hit you at all. Other times, something small will remind you of your loss, and suddenly, you’re sad again. Grief can sneak up on you, and when it does, it physically hurts. But even though grief never fully goes away, there are still healthy ways to cope and find peace. Someday, you will find acceptance and become the happy person that your lost loved one hoped you’d be. It just takes time.
Featured Photo by Sweet Life on Unsplash.
