Failure is one of my lifelong fears. Since childhood, I’ve been a perfectionist, and I’ve always struggled to treat myself kindly when life doesn’t go how I anticipate it. Now that I’m older, however, I’m more accepting of the fact that a majority of the time, life is unpredictable.
And that’s OK.
Every day, we all do our best to make something of ourselves. Some days, that means getting a substantial amount of work done, while other days, it just means remembering to breathe. In this digital age, strangers’ “perfect” lives constantly bombard us, and it’s nearly impossible to not feel inadequate in comparison to others. When you’re sitting in your kitchen over a lukewarm cup of coffee watching someone years younger than you glide through their daily routine without a care in the world, it can feel debilitating. How can some people live such perfect lives every day? How can you not feel like something’s wrong with you when this is the unreachable standard we believe that we must strive for?
What you don’t see from these “flawless” people is how many takes it took to capture the illusions of their perfect lives. And yes, it’s all an illusion. Even the luckiest people in the world have terrible days. Life is not static for anyone — no one can escape the bad moments. Of course, life would be so much easier if everything went the way that we planned it. Unfortunately, however, we have control over very few parts of our lives.
All we can do is move forward as well as we can.
Some days, we’ll take two steps forward and immediately feel the universe push us back a step. But what we should remember is that two steps forward and one step back still means that we’re moving forward. That one step forward is still something to celebrate. Small bits of progress are still progress. Trying to move forward is still progress. Doing your best is still progress.
As much as our society tries to force us to believe that we all must achieve certain milestones at specific times in our lives, this widely-held belief is simply not true. Time always moves forward, but that doesn’t mean that we have to race forward, too. Rest is important. Breaks are important.
We’re not machines. We can’t keep going indefinitely without breaks. Often, when we try to function in this way, the universe — and our bodies — will ensure that we do rest. You’re human, and you need a break.
Rest does not equal “failure” or “falling behind.”
Taking steps back when you realize that you aren’t ready to move forward or that you need a little more time where you currently are doesn’t mean that you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, it shows that you are doing the right thing because you’re listening to your body and taking care of yourself. Sometimes we have to try to take those two steps forward to realize that isn’t the direction that we truly want or need. We can still correct our course, take a step back, and let life go on.
Whether life decides that you need to take a step back or you do, please don’t be mad at yourself for taking a break. Trying to move forward is an important step to take, so you should always be proud of yourself for your attempt to move ahead, whether or not the outcome is what you hoped it would be.
Having to take a step back doesn’t mean that you should never try again. It just means that you’re one step closer to where you want to be. And that step forward is something to celebrate.
Featured Photo by Samantha Gades on Unsplash.
I resonate with the realization that life’s unpredictability and the constant pressure to live up to external standards can make us feel inadequate, but true progress lies in accepting ourselves, taking breaks, and understanding that moving forward, no matter how small, is still an achievement.