I Let The Ship Sink, And Our Friendship Died

When it comes to friendship, I always do what I can to make it last. You talk, I listen. You text me, I respond. You want me to hype you up, I’m your girl. 

Sometimes, one friend will have more to say; other times, another friend will have more going on in their life. When that happens, one person will have to put more into the friendship than the other. And that’s perfectly OK.

We all evolve and turn into different people in friendships. Sometimes, you’re going to grow apart. 

However, it’s important to remember that evolving is different from the friendship going to shit. 

I had a friend who I adored. We were close for a long time. Then, I felt something happen towards the last three years of our friendship. It felt as if we were disconnecting from each other; we were no longer on the same page anymore. 

I just figured we were at different points in our lives, and it was just how things would be for us from that point forward. 

But it wasn’t that.

I realized that things weren’t right between us. I noticed I put more energy and effort into the friendship. I was always the one reaching out and trying to make plans. Ultimately, I watched this person engage more with their other friends than me while we sat together in the same room. 

When this friend threw a party, I felt left out. The other friends got an excited welcome, while all I got was, “Oh, hey, what up?”

That was when I began to realize this person was only friends with me out of pure convenience.

And that’s when I realized I needed to stop being the first person to reach out. I realized that if this person really cherished our friendship and cared about my presence in their life, they would notice and say something.

We parted ways for a bit, and I vowed not to reach out to them. It was hard, but I did it. And unfortunately, this person didn’t reach out to me. Not once.

It’s hard to cope when the person you thought cared about you proves they don’t. It’s even harder when they tell you they care about you, but all their actions prove that you don’t matter to them.

Sure, maybe it’s my fault. I went quiet and didn’t reach out, but they didn’t make an effort either. I tried to save the friendship. I communicated and stated how I felt, and all they did was leave me on “read.” So, I eventually ran out of energy.

There comes a point when enough’s enough. And you have to decide whether you’re worth the energy the other person puts into the friendship. And I deserved more effort from that friend, especially since they knew how I felt about them.

So yeah, I let the ship sink, and our friendship came to an end. They could have saved it but decided not to. I guess I didn’t matter that much to them after all. And that’s something I have to accept.

Featured image via iam_os on Unsplash