Let’s face it: we have all had the moment where we think if we just stare at our phone for one second longer he will respond. Guys just don’t get it; they are unknowingly driving us crazy. We try to keep our cool for as long as possible, but we can’t help that we are blessed with incredible imaginations. The longer they keep us waiting, the further we are carried into the ever darker, fantastical realm of our own minds. Men, you really don’t want us to go there.
The following are six thoughts and excuses that run through a girl’s mind when her guy or love interest has decided to go MIA:
1. Shit, he knows I’m weird.
You sent some emojis or wrote something you thought was clever. You start reading it over and over again. The more you read, the stranger it sounds. You come to the somber conclusion that he has chosen not to respond because because your pretty face is no longer distracting him from what you truly are: weird.
2. Maybe he didn’t get it?
Sometimes texts don’t go through. You tell yourself this, not really believing it. Nice try though. You consider sending him another text to check, but you know this will just make you appear desperate. And you are NOT desperate…right?
3. He probably fell asleep.
If anything, this probably is what happened and you think you are okay with it. Then you wonder, did your conversation really bore him that much? Damn, why does he always sleep so much? Was he really sleeping all of those times he says he was? He probably isn’t even sleeping now! Liar!
4. He is making out with some chick at the bar.
Of course it’s that. He found someone else. His loss though. But actually, who is she? What size bra does she wear? Did she initiate things? Blonde, brunette or red-head? You always knew he liked red-heads. Will he ever text back or are you lost in his messages forever?
5. Is his favorite sports team playing?
Truthfully, it could just be he is hanging with the guys watching his favorite sports team. Your brain always resorts to the worst! Why do you do that to yourself? You know how he gets during the game! Nothing else exists in the world when sports is going on.
You google his team’s schedule just to check. If they are playing, you are in the clear. You can tuck yourself in and peacefully fall asleep. If not, all hell is about to break loose. But not really, because you don’t want to appear insane.
6. He is dead.
This is the most plausible explanation. He is probably lying in a ditch somewhere. He went to read your text and it caused him to crash. You will never love again. You text him… just to make sure. Not because you are going to kill him yourself if he just decided not to answer for three days.
Of course, he was just eating some hot wings and couldn’t get his hands clean to respond.
So guys, please just do us a favor and don’t leave us hanging. Unless you have a legitimate excuse, we aren’t going to take your unresponsiveness lightly. Rather, we will attempt to come up with excuses for you, and eventually our minds will just resort to the worst. We can’t help it! So put down those damn hot wings, clean your hands up, and at least send an emoji. That will give you a few minutes to finish up while we work to decipher whether the half-smile means you thought what we said was funny or whether we should just give up now.
Featured Image via screengrab of Younger.
