Let’s be real, sometimes going to the bar is a big pain in the ass. First, there’s the long line at the door. And then, the five bucks you have to pay to get in. Wait, what? You want me to pay five dollars to get into an overcrowded college bar? I thought paying cover meant getting some kind of deal once I’m inside. Don’t let me forget about waiting around a packed bar for a Long Island iced tea that’s going to put you out ten bucks. And to top it off, what would a college bar be without a ratchet bathroom?
Luckily, I’m here to help you avoid these annoyances the next time you head out:
- Go to the bar early. I don’t mean 10 p.m. early. I mean – don’t freak out on me here – 9 p.m. early. The trick is to get semi-ready, go to the bar to get your hand stamp or wristband and then literally go right back home. That way, when you eventually make your way out for the night, you can bypass the line and start your night while not having to lose your buzz during the long wait.
- Ask people who are leaving if you can have their wristband. Let’s say you didn’t take my first piece of advice and you’re stuck in a never-ending line. Chances are, there will be people heading home by this time. Try your luck at asking if they’ll give you their wristband, because, let’s be honest, we’re all broke college kids. I’ve given my wristband to someone before because 1) She asked nicely and 2) I thought it would give me good Karma. This way, you skip the line AND don’t have to pay cover.
- Pregame. There’s nothing worse than going to the bar only to realize you’re going to have to spend a small fortune to get drunk. Being broke and sober is no way to go through life. So have a glass of wine or two while you’re getting ready aka SHOTS. Then invite your friends over for a quick drinking game before heading out. You get a buzz and a great start to the night!
- Have your money ready, but don’t wave it in the bartender’s face. Having your crumpled up dollar bills ready and visible shows the bartender that you’re ready to get the night rolling. They’ll come to you before they come to that guy hopelessly trying to talk a girl into taking a shot with him. Waving your money in the bartender’s face, on the other hand, is just annoying and will probably make the bartender want to serve you last. It also wouldn’t hurt to show some skin if you’re a girl waiting for a male bartender as a second resort either.
- Order a double. Yes, it is more expensive, I know. But it is also a bigger drink with more alcohol (and who doesn’t like more alcohol?). This means you can sip on it for longer, saving you from fighting the bar crowd on multiple occasions in order to get more drinks.
- If you’re a girl, flirt with guys. Cute girl + thirsty guy = free drinks. Enough said.
- Go to the bathroom next door. A friend introduced me to this trick, and I am forever in her debt for opening my eyes to it. Bar bathroom lines are always long, and the cleanliness of those bathrooms is beyond questionable. More likely than not, there’s a pizza joint right around the corner. So head over there to wait in no line for a clean bathroom. Once you’re done, just go back to the bar since you already have your wristband or hand stamp.
And there you have it ladies and gentlemen. I can honestly say from experience that all of these techniques are tried and true ways to make your bar experience not suck. I personally stick to all of these rules when I go out, and they haven’t failed me once. So give them a try next time you go out, and drink and be merry.
Featured image by Roger Blackwell via Flickr
